September 14, 1999
Exercise buffs may try to change it, but so far the strongest muscle in the human body is the tongue. Perhaps God created us that way for a reason, but could it be our tongues are the strongest because they get the most exercise?
While not fanatical about exercise, I have been using light hand-held weights for the past few years. Constant repetition is sufficient to firm up some of my flab and improve my endurance. Exercise might do the same for my tongue, but is that a good thing?
Talking too much is generally not my problem yet I can put my foot in my mouth as easily as anyone. Sometimes my conscience nags me for interrupting people, speaking out of turn, or not letting someone say what is on their mind. I’m not surprised that the Bible is filled with warnings about over-exercising this muscle.
Proverbs 10:19 is a good place to start: “When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.” The implication is plain: those who hesitate before speaking are less apt to say the wrong thing and thus sin with their mouth. Who can argue with that!
Still in Proverbs we find: “The mouth of the fool gushes folly” and “Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.”
My dad used to say something similar: “Better to be quiet and have people think you are a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt.” When we think of wisdom, the picture that comes to mind seldom includes lots of noise.
Other biblical warnings abound. One says: “He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.” Who hasn’t got in trouble because they spoke too soon? Or been annoyed by someone who finishes their sentences?
Another warning from the New Testament says, “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness . . . this should not be.”
When people get angry and curse others, they have not considered this truth from Proverbs 18:21: “The tongue has the power of life and death.” While it may not be a lethal weapon physically, words can kill a person’s spirit and rob us of emotional vitality.
A New Testament writer says, “the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.”
Those are strong words. That is why James also says, “no man can tame the tongue.” We need God’s help. He promises better control of this muscle to anyone who wants to change the way they think and therefore the way they talk.
(Of course not all talking is bad. Proverbs 15:2 starts with “The tongue of the wise commends knowledge” and verse four continues with: “The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life.” Our speech can praise God and bless others, just as the Bible says. We are encouraged not to use corrupt words but talk so that others are built up and receive grace.)
One thing about exercise at home or in the gym; if your form is not correct, you can injure yourself. It is a little like that with the tongue; if we do not use the right words or have the right attitude as we speak, we can hurt not only ourselves but others.
Flabby muscles firm up and become more alert with exercise but just using our tongue does not necessarily improve anything. As 1 Timothy 4:8 says, “Physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things.”
In this case, an old truism matches Scripture: if we cannot say anything nice, we are better to let our tongue muscle become atrophied.
Showing posts with label tongue control. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tongue control. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 11, 2017
Wednesday, November 30, 2016
The Value of Silence .......... Parables 517
July 2, 1996
The husband comes home complaining, “There are people on my committee that never say anything. When we are supposed to brainstorm ideas, they never talk. It drives me crazy.”
His wife replies, “I have the opposite problem. My new boss is a nice person, but I can’t get even a ‘Yes, Sir’ in sideways. Talk! He must have once been an auctioneer.”
The Bible says, “There is a time to speak and a time to be silent....” Don’t we all sometimes find ourselves confused about which is which?
Sometimes people think actions have greater power than words or silence yet when a father tells his children, “Don’t do as I do, do as I say,” they don’t copy his words but his actions.
Learning how to behave properly includes learning how to keep one’s tongue. Simple silence can prevent many problems. Proverbs 21:23 says, “He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.” Another proverb adds, “A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered. Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue” (Proverbs 17:27-28).
A wise person is one who says the right thing at the right time. As one lady put it, “My grandfather was one of those people who did not talk very much, but when he did, everyone turned their head to listen.
Certainly Jesus Christ was not a person to mince words yet whatever He said showed His great wisdom. When He spoke, people not only turned to listen but came in droves to hear Him.
Jesus was also the only person with perfect knowledge of when to speak and when to be quiet. During the last days of His life on earth, as He was taken before the men who would eventually order Him crucified, He choose silence. As Isaiah 53 says, “He was oppressed and afflicted, yet He did not open His mouth; He was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is silent, so He did not open his mouth.”
The silence of Jesus was not a sign of ignorance or weakness. Because He was the Son of God, He could have opened His mouth and ordered legions of angels to rescue Him. He could have defended both His character and His innocence with great eloquence. Instead, He said nothing, perhaps because He considered His life purpose. As God’s Son, He came, “not to be served but to serve and to give His life as a ransom for many.”
In that case, what would be the point of self-defense? His accusers had seen Him do miracle after miracle and still didn’t believe He was anything but an ordinary man. One more sermon would not convince them nor would any effort to verbally justify Himself. Even if speaking would change their minds, in light of what He came to do, the only option He had was silence. Because He choose this, sinners can choose life.
For those who do, silence is often more powerful than words. Peter wrote that Christians needed to trust God and submit to the rules of people in power. He explained in 2:15, “For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men.” Later on, he adds a note to wives of husbands that are in rebellion against God. He exhorts them to live such gracious, trusting lives that their husbands may be won over, without a word!” (Italics mine)
Learning when to speak and when to be quiet is one of life’s toughest lessons. My father loves to talk but also knows when to keep his tongue. It seems he learned this lesson from eighty-seven years of experience but then again, maybe he also read the Bible — his favorite expression mirrors Proverbs 17:28, “Better to be quiet and thought a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt.”
The husband comes home complaining, “There are people on my committee that never say anything. When we are supposed to brainstorm ideas, they never talk. It drives me crazy.”
His wife replies, “I have the opposite problem. My new boss is a nice person, but I can’t get even a ‘Yes, Sir’ in sideways. Talk! He must have once been an auctioneer.”
The Bible says, “There is a time to speak and a time to be silent....” Don’t we all sometimes find ourselves confused about which is which?
Sometimes people think actions have greater power than words or silence yet when a father tells his children, “Don’t do as I do, do as I say,” they don’t copy his words but his actions.
Learning how to behave properly includes learning how to keep one’s tongue. Simple silence can prevent many problems. Proverbs 21:23 says, “He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.” Another proverb adds, “A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered. Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue” (Proverbs 17:27-28).
A wise person is one who says the right thing at the right time. As one lady put it, “My grandfather was one of those people who did not talk very much, but when he did, everyone turned their head to listen.
Certainly Jesus Christ was not a person to mince words yet whatever He said showed His great wisdom. When He spoke, people not only turned to listen but came in droves to hear Him.
Jesus was also the only person with perfect knowledge of when to speak and when to be quiet. During the last days of His life on earth, as He was taken before the men who would eventually order Him crucified, He choose silence. As Isaiah 53 says, “He was oppressed and afflicted, yet He did not open His mouth; He was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is silent, so He did not open his mouth.”
The silence of Jesus was not a sign of ignorance or weakness. Because He was the Son of God, He could have opened His mouth and ordered legions of angels to rescue Him. He could have defended both His character and His innocence with great eloquence. Instead, He said nothing, perhaps because He considered His life purpose. As God’s Son, He came, “not to be served but to serve and to give His life as a ransom for many.”
In that case, what would be the point of self-defense? His accusers had seen Him do miracle after miracle and still didn’t believe He was anything but an ordinary man. One more sermon would not convince them nor would any effort to verbally justify Himself. Even if speaking would change their minds, in light of what He came to do, the only option He had was silence. Because He choose this, sinners can choose life.
For those who do, silence is often more powerful than words. Peter wrote that Christians needed to trust God and submit to the rules of people in power. He explained in 2:15, “For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men.” Later on, he adds a note to wives of husbands that are in rebellion against God. He exhorts them to live such gracious, trusting lives that their husbands may be won over, without a word!” (Italics mine)
Learning when to speak and when to be quiet is one of life’s toughest lessons. My father loves to talk but also knows when to keep his tongue. It seems he learned this lesson from eighty-seven years of experience but then again, maybe he also read the Bible — his favorite expression mirrors Proverbs 17:28, “Better to be quiet and thought a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt.”
Monday, June 2, 2014
Tattle tails ................................ Parables 125
One warm evening, when the air was still and sounds carried well, I heard children playing across the street. One called out, “I’m going to tell . . . ” The threat carried with it an unspoken “ . . . if you don’t smarten up and play the way I want you to play.”
We did it when we were kids. Sometimes my brothers used their superior strength unfairly against my sister and me, and won the game. It made us mad; so we told on them. Or we practiced a special sign language and made our secret plans in full view - infuriating them because they didn’t know what we were “saying” to each other; so they told on us. Or sometimes all four of us got into something we shouldn’t have and the first to realize it rationalized that if they did the telling, maybe they would not get the spanking; of course not minding if the other three did.
Siblings are not the only ones who “tell.” Our complaints against those who don’t “play the way we want” takes many forms, from writing to our ombudsman down to our national pastime, gossip.
After hearing the children, I began to wonder, is it ever right to tell? Are there times when some people need to know about the failures of others. What does God think about tattletales?
Several scriptures came to mind. One admonishes against gossip, telling the wives of church leaders to be sober-minded and faithful, not slanderers. The word actually means “to speak evil against.”
Another one, Ephesians 5:11-12, says, “ . . . Have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them, for it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret.” Christians are not even supposed to speak about the sinful things that people do, but go directly to the offenders and challenge them.
A third verse, Ephesians 4:29, says, “Do not let any corrupt communication come out of your mouth but only that which is good . . . to edify the hearers . . .” In other words, if something will not build up the listener in a godly way, don’t say it.
God gives commands, but they are not always easy to follow. For some people “telling” is almost as natural as breathing. One time I was going into a situation where everyone liked to “tell” on everyone else and I was inwardly dreading it. I didn’t want to gossip along with them and offend my conscience and my God, but I knew how easy it was to be caught up in what everyone else was doing. My sister gave me some advice: “Just gossip about yourself.”
After some reflection, I realized she meant I should freely be able to talk about my weaknesses and my shortcomings and not use gossip as an opportunity to put others beneath me. I tried it. Every time someone said something unkind about someone else, cutting them down with slander or criticism, I said something like this: “I have the same problem they do . . . I can’t overcome it at all unless I pray and get the Lord’s help or unless others will help me and pray for me.”
What a wet blanket! The juicy morsels of gossip dried up quicker than a shallow slough in summertime. After a while, the normal yackity-yak of that group gave way to silence. Maybe I spoiled their party, but I had a great time. Since that situation, I’ve not always been able to quench tattling that dramatically; sometimes I’m even guilty of starting it, yet I’ve never forgotten the lesson.
I’ve also learned that if someone genuinely isn’t playing the game right, God lets me realize it so I can either go to the offending person and help them overcome whatever they are doing, or at least pray for them, not run to others (or even accuse them to God) with “I’m going to tell . . .”
We did it when we were kids. Sometimes my brothers used their superior strength unfairly against my sister and me, and won the game. It made us mad; so we told on them. Or we practiced a special sign language and made our secret plans in full view - infuriating them because they didn’t know what we were “saying” to each other; so they told on us. Or sometimes all four of us got into something we shouldn’t have and the first to realize it rationalized that if they did the telling, maybe they would not get the spanking; of course not minding if the other three did.
Siblings are not the only ones who “tell.” Our complaints against those who don’t “play the way we want” takes many forms, from writing to our ombudsman down to our national pastime, gossip.
After hearing the children, I began to wonder, is it ever right to tell? Are there times when some people need to know about the failures of others. What does God think about tattletales?
Several scriptures came to mind. One admonishes against gossip, telling the wives of church leaders to be sober-minded and faithful, not slanderers. The word actually means “to speak evil against.”
Another one, Ephesians 5:11-12, says, “ . . . Have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them, for it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret.” Christians are not even supposed to speak about the sinful things that people do, but go directly to the offenders and challenge them.
A third verse, Ephesians 4:29, says, “Do not let any corrupt communication come out of your mouth but only that which is good . . . to edify the hearers . . .” In other words, if something will not build up the listener in a godly way, don’t say it.
God gives commands, but they are not always easy to follow. For some people “telling” is almost as natural as breathing. One time I was going into a situation where everyone liked to “tell” on everyone else and I was inwardly dreading it. I didn’t want to gossip along with them and offend my conscience and my God, but I knew how easy it was to be caught up in what everyone else was doing. My sister gave me some advice: “Just gossip about yourself.”
After some reflection, I realized she meant I should freely be able to talk about my weaknesses and my shortcomings and not use gossip as an opportunity to put others beneath me. I tried it. Every time someone said something unkind about someone else, cutting them down with slander or criticism, I said something like this: “I have the same problem they do . . . I can’t overcome it at all unless I pray and get the Lord’s help or unless others will help me and pray for me.”
What a wet blanket! The juicy morsels of gossip dried up quicker than a shallow slough in summertime. After a while, the normal yackity-yak of that group gave way to silence. Maybe I spoiled their party, but I had a great time. Since that situation, I’ve not always been able to quench tattling that dramatically; sometimes I’m even guilty of starting it, yet I’ve never forgotten the lesson.
I’ve also learned that if someone genuinely isn’t playing the game right, God lets me realize it so I can either go to the offending person and help them overcome whatever they are doing, or at least pray for them, not run to others (or even accuse them to God) with “I’m going to tell . . .”
Monday, March 17, 2014
Taming and Training the Tongue Parables 093
This year the “in” toys are those that talk to you. Advertised as perfect playmates, these toys come equipped with battery-operated tape recorders and tapes that tell stories and jokes, giggle, and fit right in with a child’s fantasy world.
While the development of a good imagination is normal, I have wondered about the value of these toys and in other amusements such as talking commuter games. Have our children learned how to relate to animation produced through bytes, bits, and microchips at the expense of not learning how to inter-relate, at least in some areas, with other people?
We all know the struggles involved in interpersonal relationships, especially related to communication. People don’t always say things we expect, appreciate, or understand. That old saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” is not true. Words often do make the difference between the experience of joy or sorrow, peace or strife, and love or hate. Proverbs 18:21 even says that “life and death are in the power of the tongue.” Words have a powerful potential for good when used by a person who is able to say the right things at the right time.
But we can’t program what people say to us and sometimes we can’t control our own speech very well. We want to say the right things but sometimes the opposite happens and we hurt, confuse, or disappoint others. Ephesians 4:29 tells us “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
We would agree that this is a wonderful goal, yet James 3:8 says, “The tongue no man can tame.” Is not that lack of control the biggest reason communication can be so difficult? How can we use our mouth to build others if we are not able to tame our tongues?
Paul laid a foundation for the answer when he told the church in Corinth that he did not come to them to impress them with his speaking ability or impress them with anything about himself. He hit a nerve concerning our communication problems - we too often think about ourselves and what will please us.
Paul went on to say, “I resolved to know nothing while I was with you but Jesus Christ and Him crucified.” He set his communication focus on bringing glory to the Lord, again, not to draw attention to himself. Unselfish motivation is only a beginning. We also need to learn what will build up our hearers and meet their needs. We need to know enough about them so we will not inadvertently do them harm with our tongue.
This is impossible with a me-focus and an expectation that others should always say things that please us. Being a good communicator involves listening, sometimes to things that we don’t particularly like to hear. In other words, it is necessary to practice communication with real people who give honest responses.
Communication with machines that say what we program into them to say and respond with what we enjoy hearing does not give opportunity to learn communication skills. Instead they promote a world of fantasy. It is in that unreal world that we can easily continue to think that WE never make any mistakes with OUR mouths, it is merely the fault of those who “misunderstand” us... therefore it is not OUR tongues that need taming.
With that, another important area of life fails to be submitted to the Lordship of the One who made our tongue and who wants to use it to bless others and bring Him glory.
While the development of a good imagination is normal, I have wondered about the value of these toys and in other amusements such as talking commuter games. Have our children learned how to relate to animation produced through bytes, bits, and microchips at the expense of not learning how to inter-relate, at least in some areas, with other people?
We all know the struggles involved in interpersonal relationships, especially related to communication. People don’t always say things we expect, appreciate, or understand. That old saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” is not true. Words often do make the difference between the experience of joy or sorrow, peace or strife, and love or hate. Proverbs 18:21 even says that “life and death are in the power of the tongue.” Words have a powerful potential for good when used by a person who is able to say the right things at the right time.
But we can’t program what people say to us and sometimes we can’t control our own speech very well. We want to say the right things but sometimes the opposite happens and we hurt, confuse, or disappoint others. Ephesians 4:29 tells us “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
We would agree that this is a wonderful goal, yet James 3:8 says, “The tongue no man can tame.” Is not that lack of control the biggest reason communication can be so difficult? How can we use our mouth to build others if we are not able to tame our tongues?
Paul laid a foundation for the answer when he told the church in Corinth that he did not come to them to impress them with his speaking ability or impress them with anything about himself. He hit a nerve concerning our communication problems - we too often think about ourselves and what will please us.
Paul went on to say, “I resolved to know nothing while I was with you but Jesus Christ and Him crucified.” He set his communication focus on bringing glory to the Lord, again, not to draw attention to himself. Unselfish motivation is only a beginning. We also need to learn what will build up our hearers and meet their needs. We need to know enough about them so we will not inadvertently do them harm with our tongue.
This is impossible with a me-focus and an expectation that others should always say things that please us. Being a good communicator involves listening, sometimes to things that we don’t particularly like to hear. In other words, it is necessary to practice communication with real people who give honest responses.
Communication with machines that say what we program into them to say and respond with what we enjoy hearing does not give opportunity to learn communication skills. Instead they promote a world of fantasy. It is in that unreal world that we can easily continue to think that WE never make any mistakes with OUR mouths, it is merely the fault of those who “misunderstand” us... therefore it is not OUR tongues that need taming.
With that, another important area of life fails to be submitted to the Lordship of the One who made our tongue and who wants to use it to bless others and bring Him glory.
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