July 2, 1996
The husband comes home complaining, “There are people on my committee that never say anything. When we are supposed to brainstorm ideas, they never talk. It drives me crazy.”
His wife replies, “I have the opposite problem. My new boss is a nice person, but I can’t get even a ‘Yes, Sir’ in sideways. Talk! He must have once been an auctioneer.”
The Bible says, “There is a time to speak and a time to be silent....” Don’t we all sometimes find ourselves confused about which is which?
Sometimes people think actions have greater power than words or silence yet when a father tells his children, “Don’t do as I do, do as I say,” they don’t copy his words but his actions.
Learning how to behave properly includes learning how to keep one’s tongue. Simple silence can prevent many problems. Proverbs 21:23 says, “He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.” Another proverb adds, “A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered. Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue” (Proverbs 17:27-28).
A wise person is one who says the right thing at the right time. As one lady put it, “My grandfather was one of those people who did not talk very much, but when he did, everyone turned their head to listen.
Certainly Jesus Christ was not a person to mince words yet whatever He said showed His great wisdom. When He spoke, people not only turned to listen but came in droves to hear Him.
Jesus was also the only person with perfect knowledge of when to speak and when to be quiet. During the last days of His life on earth, as He was taken before the men who would eventually order Him crucified, He choose silence. As Isaiah 53 says, “He was oppressed and afflicted, yet He did not open His mouth; He was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is silent, so He did not open his mouth.”
The silence of Jesus was not a sign of ignorance or weakness. Because He was the Son of God, He could have opened His mouth and ordered legions of angels to rescue Him. He could have defended both His character and His innocence with great eloquence. Instead, He said nothing, perhaps because He considered His life purpose. As God’s Son, He came, “not to be served but to serve and to give His life as a ransom for many.”
In that case, what would be the point of self-defense? His accusers had seen Him do miracle after miracle and still didn’t believe He was anything but an ordinary man. One more sermon would not convince them nor would any effort to verbally justify Himself. Even if speaking would change their minds, in light of what He came to do, the only option He had was silence. Because He choose this, sinners can choose life.
For those who do, silence is often more powerful than words. Peter wrote that Christians needed to trust God and submit to the rules of people in power. He explained in 2:15, “For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men.” Later on, he adds a note to wives of husbands that are in rebellion against God. He exhorts them to live such gracious, trusting lives that their husbands may be won over, without a word!” (Italics mine)
Learning when to speak and when to be quiet is one of life’s toughest lessons. My father loves to talk but also knows when to keep his tongue. It seems he learned this lesson from eighty-seven years of experience but then again, maybe he also read the Bible — his favorite expression mirrors Proverbs 17:28, “Better to be quiet and thought a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt.”
Showing posts with label speaking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label speaking. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 30, 2016
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
Hiding your identity? .............. Parables 264
April 24, 1991
“If being an American abroad presents safety concerns for you, consider Passafe passport covers...” entreats a recent ad in the New York Times.
The pitch promoted phoney cardboard covers labeled “Canada,” “Argentina,” or “Guyana.” Supposedly, anyone from south of our border could tuck their passport into a false cover and breeze through transportation terminals without any hassle from anti-American activists.
Cowardly or sensible? Personally, I thought twice about passing judgment on people who are afraid to admit their citizenship. I’m a citizen of heaven and should always be willing to declare it, but sometimes I don’t – for fear that someone might hassle me.
Logically, it seems there should be no problem. God made me His child and an heir of salvation. He rescued me from the penalty of sin, exalted me to sit with Christ in heavenly places and gave me the awesome responsibility of being one of His ambassadors here on earth, a representative for Him to those who are still citizens of the world.
Yet sometimes declaring it is a problem. It’s hard to speak to people who don’t know how to change their citizenship, even though we Christians have an obligation to tell them. Anyone can be a heavenly citizen by admitting their sins and putting their faith in Christ. He offers all the free gift of eternal life and the good news concerning that life is a treasure to be shared, not hidden or covered up in silence.
We sometimes call ourselves “Closet Christians” when we are afraid of ridicule and rejection. We realize some people are not at all interested in hearing the gospel and will ridicule both the message and the messengers. Sometimes they do more than scoff and we back-off, claiming to be “sensitive” when our problem is a strong sense of self-preservation. It is easier to simply not tell anybody than cope with rejection and humiliation.
Jesus offered some encouraging words about the importance of telling people we are Christians: “Whosoever... shall confess me before men, him will I confess also before my Father which is in heaven” (Matthew 10:32). That is, if we expect Him to put in a good word for us, we need to speak up.
However, eternity is an unseen future. No matter how much we might want God to think well of us, it is difficult to get around our desire to be accepted by others, even more so if rejection has been a big part of our life. We may even think God will surely not be too hard on a shy person who has trouble even saying “hello” or an abused person who is not sure of who they are. After all, doesn’t the way people treat us have a big bearing on our personalities? Not everyone is out-going and confident. Doesn’t God relax the rules a little for bashful and timid people?
Not so. Jesus also said, “But whoever denies me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven” (vs.33). There is one standard for all: “If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus, and believe in your heart that God hath raised him from the dead, you shall be saved. For with the heart man believes unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.”
It is clear that all Christians are required to speak up, not cover up. Understandably, not everyone wants to hear what Christians have to say, however that is not an excuse for denying Him. He was willing to die for our sinfulness; surely we can admit we believe in Him and love Him.
The American government is committed to protect its citizens. Will not God protect those who, openly and without shame, display His passport?
“If being an American abroad presents safety concerns for you, consider Passafe passport covers...” entreats a recent ad in the New York Times.
The pitch promoted phoney cardboard covers labeled “Canada,” “Argentina,” or “Guyana.” Supposedly, anyone from south of our border could tuck their passport into a false cover and breeze through transportation terminals without any hassle from anti-American activists.
Cowardly or sensible? Personally, I thought twice about passing judgment on people who are afraid to admit their citizenship. I’m a citizen of heaven and should always be willing to declare it, but sometimes I don’t – for fear that someone might hassle me.
Logically, it seems there should be no problem. God made me His child and an heir of salvation. He rescued me from the penalty of sin, exalted me to sit with Christ in heavenly places and gave me the awesome responsibility of being one of His ambassadors here on earth, a representative for Him to those who are still citizens of the world.
Yet sometimes declaring it is a problem. It’s hard to speak to people who don’t know how to change their citizenship, even though we Christians have an obligation to tell them. Anyone can be a heavenly citizen by admitting their sins and putting their faith in Christ. He offers all the free gift of eternal life and the good news concerning that life is a treasure to be shared, not hidden or covered up in silence.
We sometimes call ourselves “Closet Christians” when we are afraid of ridicule and rejection. We realize some people are not at all interested in hearing the gospel and will ridicule both the message and the messengers. Sometimes they do more than scoff and we back-off, claiming to be “sensitive” when our problem is a strong sense of self-preservation. It is easier to simply not tell anybody than cope with rejection and humiliation.
Jesus offered some encouraging words about the importance of telling people we are Christians: “Whosoever... shall confess me before men, him will I confess also before my Father which is in heaven” (Matthew 10:32). That is, if we expect Him to put in a good word for us, we need to speak up.
However, eternity is an unseen future. No matter how much we might want God to think well of us, it is difficult to get around our desire to be accepted by others, even more so if rejection has been a big part of our life. We may even think God will surely not be too hard on a shy person who has trouble even saying “hello” or an abused person who is not sure of who they are. After all, doesn’t the way people treat us have a big bearing on our personalities? Not everyone is out-going and confident. Doesn’t God relax the rules a little for bashful and timid people?
Not so. Jesus also said, “But whoever denies me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven” (vs.33). There is one standard for all: “If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus, and believe in your heart that God hath raised him from the dead, you shall be saved. For with the heart man believes unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.”
It is clear that all Christians are required to speak up, not cover up. Understandably, not everyone wants to hear what Christians have to say, however that is not an excuse for denying Him. He was willing to die for our sinfulness; surely we can admit we believe in Him and love Him.
The American government is committed to protect its citizens. Will not God protect those who, openly and without shame, display His passport?
Monday, March 17, 2014
Taming and Training the Tongue Parables 093
This year the “in” toys are those that talk to you. Advertised as perfect playmates, these toys come equipped with battery-operated tape recorders and tapes that tell stories and jokes, giggle, and fit right in with a child’s fantasy world.
While the development of a good imagination is normal, I have wondered about the value of these toys and in other amusements such as talking commuter games. Have our children learned how to relate to animation produced through bytes, bits, and microchips at the expense of not learning how to inter-relate, at least in some areas, with other people?
We all know the struggles involved in interpersonal relationships, especially related to communication. People don’t always say things we expect, appreciate, or understand. That old saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” is not true. Words often do make the difference between the experience of joy or sorrow, peace or strife, and love or hate. Proverbs 18:21 even says that “life and death are in the power of the tongue.” Words have a powerful potential for good when used by a person who is able to say the right things at the right time.
But we can’t program what people say to us and sometimes we can’t control our own speech very well. We want to say the right things but sometimes the opposite happens and we hurt, confuse, or disappoint others. Ephesians 4:29 tells us “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
We would agree that this is a wonderful goal, yet James 3:8 says, “The tongue no man can tame.” Is not that lack of control the biggest reason communication can be so difficult? How can we use our mouth to build others if we are not able to tame our tongues?
Paul laid a foundation for the answer when he told the church in Corinth that he did not come to them to impress them with his speaking ability or impress them with anything about himself. He hit a nerve concerning our communication problems - we too often think about ourselves and what will please us.
Paul went on to say, “I resolved to know nothing while I was with you but Jesus Christ and Him crucified.” He set his communication focus on bringing glory to the Lord, again, not to draw attention to himself. Unselfish motivation is only a beginning. We also need to learn what will build up our hearers and meet their needs. We need to know enough about them so we will not inadvertently do them harm with our tongue.
This is impossible with a me-focus and an expectation that others should always say things that please us. Being a good communicator involves listening, sometimes to things that we don’t particularly like to hear. In other words, it is necessary to practice communication with real people who give honest responses.
Communication with machines that say what we program into them to say and respond with what we enjoy hearing does not give opportunity to learn communication skills. Instead they promote a world of fantasy. It is in that unreal world that we can easily continue to think that WE never make any mistakes with OUR mouths, it is merely the fault of those who “misunderstand” us... therefore it is not OUR tongues that need taming.
With that, another important area of life fails to be submitted to the Lordship of the One who made our tongue and who wants to use it to bless others and bring Him glory.
While the development of a good imagination is normal, I have wondered about the value of these toys and in other amusements such as talking commuter games. Have our children learned how to relate to animation produced through bytes, bits, and microchips at the expense of not learning how to inter-relate, at least in some areas, with other people?
We all know the struggles involved in interpersonal relationships, especially related to communication. People don’t always say things we expect, appreciate, or understand. That old saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” is not true. Words often do make the difference between the experience of joy or sorrow, peace or strife, and love or hate. Proverbs 18:21 even says that “life and death are in the power of the tongue.” Words have a powerful potential for good when used by a person who is able to say the right things at the right time.
But we can’t program what people say to us and sometimes we can’t control our own speech very well. We want to say the right things but sometimes the opposite happens and we hurt, confuse, or disappoint others. Ephesians 4:29 tells us “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
We would agree that this is a wonderful goal, yet James 3:8 says, “The tongue no man can tame.” Is not that lack of control the biggest reason communication can be so difficult? How can we use our mouth to build others if we are not able to tame our tongues?
Paul laid a foundation for the answer when he told the church in Corinth that he did not come to them to impress them with his speaking ability or impress them with anything about himself. He hit a nerve concerning our communication problems - we too often think about ourselves and what will please us.
Paul went on to say, “I resolved to know nothing while I was with you but Jesus Christ and Him crucified.” He set his communication focus on bringing glory to the Lord, again, not to draw attention to himself. Unselfish motivation is only a beginning. We also need to learn what will build up our hearers and meet their needs. We need to know enough about them so we will not inadvertently do them harm with our tongue.
This is impossible with a me-focus and an expectation that others should always say things that please us. Being a good communicator involves listening, sometimes to things that we don’t particularly like to hear. In other words, it is necessary to practice communication with real people who give honest responses.
Communication with machines that say what we program into them to say and respond with what we enjoy hearing does not give opportunity to learn communication skills. Instead they promote a world of fantasy. It is in that unreal world that we can easily continue to think that WE never make any mistakes with OUR mouths, it is merely the fault of those who “misunderstand” us... therefore it is not OUR tongues that need taming.
With that, another important area of life fails to be submitted to the Lordship of the One who made our tongue and who wants to use it to bless others and bring Him glory.
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