March 9, 1999
Electronic mail has revolutionized business and personal communication. With a computer and modem, anyone can send messages around the world in minutes, even make and cultivate friendships in cyberspace.
However, e-mail has the same annoyances as regular mail. Total strangers somehow get my address and send me Spam or unwanted advertising — electronic junk mail. Occasionally, I get chain letters too. “If you make ten copies of this and send it on to ten friends...”
Yikes, I have enough to do. I use this technology when I want to say a few words without feeling guilty that I didn’t have time to write fourteen pages.
Carnegie Melton University in Pittsburgh researched people who spend far more time in cyberspace than I do. According to their data, the more that people use e-mail, chat rooms and discussion groups, the more depressed, stressed and lonely they feel. They also add that being on-line replaces time people should spend building deeper relationships with family and friends.
In my limited experience, electronic discussions, no matter how intimate they seem, do not reach true intimacy. Impressions easily created in mere words fall flat in face-to-face relationships. With e-mail, it is easy to fake who you are and how you feel. Even regular mail and the telephone fail the intimacy test. To pass, we need to look into each other’s eyes.
The Bible says the eye is the lamp of the body. Philosophers say it is the window to the soul. Ordinary people know that the look in someone’s eye can tell them a great deal about that person’s heart and mind.
At least that is true for human relationships. It simply does not apply to the ultimate cyberspace communication — prayer. We do not have to look into the eyes of God to get close to Him. We just talk or even think and God knows exactly what we are trying to communicate. He speaks back through the Bible or sometimes without words into our minds — and we hear Him. We know who is speaking and we grow deeper in our relationship with Him.
I am amazed how we can fool each other with the best of technology yet our hearts are open to God using none whatsoever. It is as the psalmist wrote, “O Lord, You have searched me and You know me. . . . Before a word is on my tongue You know it completely, O Lord.”
Spoken or written prayers help us express ourselves to Him but His understanding goes deeper than what we say. He knows what we really mean and how we really feel before we even tell Him. Not even our closest friends can do that with the same accuracy.
Actually, prayer is not really cyberspace communication. The Bible says if we put our faith in Christ, He comes to live in our hearts. We are “a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in us, whom we received from God.” Our messages do not have to go from ‘server to server’ around the universe searching for His address because He is right here with us. Nothing could be quicker.
Further, going on-line with God doesn’t require a modem or computer. Anyone can do it anywhere and anytime, without any costs and in any language. No one has to learn how to type on a keyboard or open any software. Nothing could be easier.
If spending too much time online makes people lonely, prayer has the opposite effect. Consider evangelist Billy Graham’s definition of loneliness. He says it is the way we feel when God is calling us to spend time with Him. When we do that, we are filled not emptied.
These days, I’m beginning to wish I could get paid to read and respond to e-mail but when I pray, there is no sense of lost or wasted time. God never sends Spam or junk mail, only peace and a sense of being with Him.
Showing posts with label talk that edifies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label talk that edifies. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 9, 2017
Monday, March 17, 2014
Taming and Training the Tongue Parables 093
This year the “in” toys are those that talk to you. Advertised as perfect playmates, these toys come equipped with battery-operated tape recorders and tapes that tell stories and jokes, giggle, and fit right in with a child’s fantasy world.
While the development of a good imagination is normal, I have wondered about the value of these toys and in other amusements such as talking commuter games. Have our children learned how to relate to animation produced through bytes, bits, and microchips at the expense of not learning how to inter-relate, at least in some areas, with other people?
We all know the struggles involved in interpersonal relationships, especially related to communication. People don’t always say things we expect, appreciate, or understand. That old saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” is not true. Words often do make the difference between the experience of joy or sorrow, peace or strife, and love or hate. Proverbs 18:21 even says that “life and death are in the power of the tongue.” Words have a powerful potential for good when used by a person who is able to say the right things at the right time.
But we can’t program what people say to us and sometimes we can’t control our own speech very well. We want to say the right things but sometimes the opposite happens and we hurt, confuse, or disappoint others. Ephesians 4:29 tells us “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
We would agree that this is a wonderful goal, yet James 3:8 says, “The tongue no man can tame.” Is not that lack of control the biggest reason communication can be so difficult? How can we use our mouth to build others if we are not able to tame our tongues?
Paul laid a foundation for the answer when he told the church in Corinth that he did not come to them to impress them with his speaking ability or impress them with anything about himself. He hit a nerve concerning our communication problems - we too often think about ourselves and what will please us.
Paul went on to say, “I resolved to know nothing while I was with you but Jesus Christ and Him crucified.” He set his communication focus on bringing glory to the Lord, again, not to draw attention to himself. Unselfish motivation is only a beginning. We also need to learn what will build up our hearers and meet their needs. We need to know enough about them so we will not inadvertently do them harm with our tongue.
This is impossible with a me-focus and an expectation that others should always say things that please us. Being a good communicator involves listening, sometimes to things that we don’t particularly like to hear. In other words, it is necessary to practice communication with real people who give honest responses.
Communication with machines that say what we program into them to say and respond with what we enjoy hearing does not give opportunity to learn communication skills. Instead they promote a world of fantasy. It is in that unreal world that we can easily continue to think that WE never make any mistakes with OUR mouths, it is merely the fault of those who “misunderstand” us... therefore it is not OUR tongues that need taming.
With that, another important area of life fails to be submitted to the Lordship of the One who made our tongue and who wants to use it to bless others and bring Him glory.
While the development of a good imagination is normal, I have wondered about the value of these toys and in other amusements such as talking commuter games. Have our children learned how to relate to animation produced through bytes, bits, and microchips at the expense of not learning how to inter-relate, at least in some areas, with other people?
We all know the struggles involved in interpersonal relationships, especially related to communication. People don’t always say things we expect, appreciate, or understand. That old saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” is not true. Words often do make the difference between the experience of joy or sorrow, peace or strife, and love or hate. Proverbs 18:21 even says that “life and death are in the power of the tongue.” Words have a powerful potential for good when used by a person who is able to say the right things at the right time.
But we can’t program what people say to us and sometimes we can’t control our own speech very well. We want to say the right things but sometimes the opposite happens and we hurt, confuse, or disappoint others. Ephesians 4:29 tells us “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
We would agree that this is a wonderful goal, yet James 3:8 says, “The tongue no man can tame.” Is not that lack of control the biggest reason communication can be so difficult? How can we use our mouth to build others if we are not able to tame our tongues?
Paul laid a foundation for the answer when he told the church in Corinth that he did not come to them to impress them with his speaking ability or impress them with anything about himself. He hit a nerve concerning our communication problems - we too often think about ourselves and what will please us.
Paul went on to say, “I resolved to know nothing while I was with you but Jesus Christ and Him crucified.” He set his communication focus on bringing glory to the Lord, again, not to draw attention to himself. Unselfish motivation is only a beginning. We also need to learn what will build up our hearers and meet their needs. We need to know enough about them so we will not inadvertently do them harm with our tongue.
This is impossible with a me-focus and an expectation that others should always say things that please us. Being a good communicator involves listening, sometimes to things that we don’t particularly like to hear. In other words, it is necessary to practice communication with real people who give honest responses.
Communication with machines that say what we program into them to say and respond with what we enjoy hearing does not give opportunity to learn communication skills. Instead they promote a world of fantasy. It is in that unreal world that we can easily continue to think that WE never make any mistakes with OUR mouths, it is merely the fault of those who “misunderstand” us... therefore it is not OUR tongues that need taming.
With that, another important area of life fails to be submitted to the Lordship of the One who made our tongue and who wants to use it to bless others and bring Him glory.
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