August 7, 2001
Author Anne Lamott writes about her life, easily admitting her quirks, foibles and bad attitudes. Before hearing her speak at a writers conference, I sat with some people who discussed her style. They clearly thought she is a misfit who reveals far more of her sins than she ought.
Sometimes a close-up confession from another person embarrasses us. While we might hope for friends that are perfect (or at least only slightly flawed), it takes time and a well-developed relationship to accept and understand someone’s darker secrets.
If a stranger tells us too much, we might wince, excuse ourselves, and leave. We don’t want to hear that they lied or stole something or considered murdering their mother or took drugs when they were teenagers. When someone dumps those kinds of things on us, we feel used, like a garbage can.
Everyone wants intimacy with family and friends but how should we react when someone reveals their dirt? What do they want from us? Absolution? Or a pat on the back and a patronizing, “I’m sure you are making it sound much worse than it is.”
My sister tells about confessing to a prayer group that she was not as faithful to God as she would like to be. They said, “Oh, no, not you, you’re okay.” They would not allow her confession and tried to convince her that she was wrong to think that way, never mind say it.
Nevertheless, saying it can be powerful. P. D. James’ mystery story “Innocent Blood” said it. When I finished reading it, I felt as if I had heard the confessions of humanity. The people in the story were fictional yet so real. I knew everything about them. While some goodness showed through (after all, we are made in the image of God), the dark side was revealed in such a way that I wept at the pitiful condition of human beings who are without love or hope.
In contrast, I’ve read a nonfiction book about real people but it tells only their virtue. The story is completely unbelievable because the people are phoney. I could not identify with their perfection. Who can? But when a writer like P. D. James depicts the best and worst in her characters, the story reaches right into our hearts. These fictional people are like us. We see our own best and realize our very worst. We are undone.
That is one reason God asks us to be honest. Certainly confession is necessary for forgiveness but confession also encourages integrity. Those who hear it find it easier to admit that they are often weak also, and prone to sin. An honest confession helps us know we are not alone in our struggle with evil thoughts, words and deeds.
The Bible says, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” Without confession, there is no forgiveness, no healing, no change. In fact, Scripture also says, “He who covers his sin will not prosper.”
Anne Lamott is a Christian who knows that her goodness comes from the Lord. She is made in His image and being renewed in the image of His Son. Yet she does not boast about herself.
I asked the group who criticized her honesty how could a person write about their own virtue. No one answered. To their credit, they realized that bragging and pride need far more criticism than does humility and integrity.
Showing posts with label humility. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humility. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 11, 2018
Friday, March 10, 2017
I Am What I Am! ................ Parables 560
June 24, 1997
While mutually admiring a photograph of the Rockies, seven-year-old Levi told me he loves being in the mountains. I asked this little lad, “When you stand looking up at them, do they make you feel small?”
He said, “No, I already know I am small.”
The so-called negative realities of life are sometimes difficult for most people to accept. Some “vertically challenged” adults buy shoes with lifts or wear clothes with vertical stripes, anything to appear taller. Two shoe salespeople have related that customers came in insisting they wear shoes two sizes smaller than the pair that fits them. Both clerks admitted scratching off the number and putting the proper-sized shoes in the wrong box, just to make the sale. They understood that these customers are not prepared simply to state the facts and live with them. Perhaps that is why remarks like Levi’s make us say, “Out of the mouths of babes. . . .”
Accepting undesired, unchangeable features is a challenge for many people. Too often we think we should be taller, or slimmer, or have smaller feet, or that our bodies must conform to the vogue in Hollywood or the criteria of New York modeling agents.
That our outside shape dictates our value seems to be an old problem. Somewhere around 1050 BC, the people asked one of God’s prophets to anoint for them a king. He picked Saul. The Bible says Saul was “an impressive young man without equal among the Israelites—a head taller than any of the others.”
Saul also impressed the prophet but after a few years, that same prophet had to boot him from office. This “impressive” king had not kept the commands the Lord God gave him so his tenure as king was over. God asked the prophet to anoint another man.
This time he was directed to a family with several sons. When he saw the height and appearance of the first one, he said, “Surely the LORD’s anointed stands here . . .” but God told him “No.” He added, “Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
Because we see the outside first, we often make evaluations on only that. If a person’s appearance conforms to our idea of good, favorable, well-shaped, lovely, well-muscled, or whatever other measurement we use, then we accept the person. In other words, if “short” is in then Levi will not have a problem with his peers, but if tall is popular, he will be ostracized for being small for his age.
Thankfully, God does not look at Levi or anyone else with those measurements in mind. Instead, He looks for an honest heart, one that will admit that the standards of this world are not reliable. They change from culture to culture, from year to year but God’s standards never change.
For that reason, the Lord looks for people who can say, “Yes, I may be short (if shortness is their particular issue) but I also fall short. I cannot measure up to the standards of God and I know that I need a Savior. I need God’s forgiveness and His help so that I can become all that He wants me to be.”
God also says, “Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom or the strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am the LORD. . . .”
An addition seems appropriate: “Let not the tall, handsome lad boast in his appearance...” Levi, small and ordinary, displays extraordinary humility. He has already taken a giant step towards pleasing God.
While mutually admiring a photograph of the Rockies, seven-year-old Levi told me he loves being in the mountains. I asked this little lad, “When you stand looking up at them, do they make you feel small?”
He said, “No, I already know I am small.”
The so-called negative realities of life are sometimes difficult for most people to accept. Some “vertically challenged” adults buy shoes with lifts or wear clothes with vertical stripes, anything to appear taller. Two shoe salespeople have related that customers came in insisting they wear shoes two sizes smaller than the pair that fits them. Both clerks admitted scratching off the number and putting the proper-sized shoes in the wrong box, just to make the sale. They understood that these customers are not prepared simply to state the facts and live with them. Perhaps that is why remarks like Levi’s make us say, “Out of the mouths of babes. . . .”
Accepting undesired, unchangeable features is a challenge for many people. Too often we think we should be taller, or slimmer, or have smaller feet, or that our bodies must conform to the vogue in Hollywood or the criteria of New York modeling agents.
That our outside shape dictates our value seems to be an old problem. Somewhere around 1050 BC, the people asked one of God’s prophets to anoint for them a king. He picked Saul. The Bible says Saul was “an impressive young man without equal among the Israelites—a head taller than any of the others.”
Saul also impressed the prophet but after a few years, that same prophet had to boot him from office. This “impressive” king had not kept the commands the Lord God gave him so his tenure as king was over. God asked the prophet to anoint another man.
This time he was directed to a family with several sons. When he saw the height and appearance of the first one, he said, “Surely the LORD’s anointed stands here . . .” but God told him “No.” He added, “Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
Because we see the outside first, we often make evaluations on only that. If a person’s appearance conforms to our idea of good, favorable, well-shaped, lovely, well-muscled, or whatever other measurement we use, then we accept the person. In other words, if “short” is in then Levi will not have a problem with his peers, but if tall is popular, he will be ostracized for being small for his age.
Thankfully, God does not look at Levi or anyone else with those measurements in mind. Instead, He looks for an honest heart, one that will admit that the standards of this world are not reliable. They change from culture to culture, from year to year but God’s standards never change.
For that reason, the Lord looks for people who can say, “Yes, I may be short (if shortness is their particular issue) but I also fall short. I cannot measure up to the standards of God and I know that I need a Savior. I need God’s forgiveness and His help so that I can become all that He wants me to be.”
God also says, “Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom or the strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am the LORD. . . .”
An addition seems appropriate: “Let not the tall, handsome lad boast in his appearance...” Levi, small and ordinary, displays extraordinary humility. He has already taken a giant step towards pleasing God.
Friday, June 17, 2016
Serving, being Served .................. Parables 446
November 8, 1994
My husband and I took my parents to Banff the last long weekend of the summer. They had not been there since 1930 and were excited about the trip. Whenever they do travel, they seldom stay in hotels so we decided to book the executive suite at Douglas Fir Resort, a two bedroom unit with full kitchen, large living and super-large dining room. For us, it was a delight to give them the finest they had ever experienced.
My mother, unaccustomed to being waited on, never mind indulged, did not know quite how to react. For example, she brought with her two of her own towels, not even her best two. Instead of using the thick, luxurious ones supplied by the hotel, she used her own.
During the weekend, we invited nine others for a surprise family dinner and brought in Chinese food. Mom had difficulty sitting down to eat. Everyone was already enjoying their food yet she hovered over the table, asking if she could get something or do something. When the men later began putting the dishes in the dishwasher (no kidding), she was right there too. One of them finally told her she could play with the grandchildren or have a rest. They had all the help they needed.
As I watched, I realized again how difficult it is for someone who has been a server all their life to be on the receiving end. Mothers are not accustomed to their children doing everything for them. However, it is also important for us to give back. She has been so generous so it is understandable that we want to do the same for her.
The Bible clearly says, “it is better to give than receive,” yet receiving is very important. In fact, no one can become a Christian and give as God wants us to, unless they are willing to be on the receiving end.
The Apostle Paul wrote, “For by grace you are saved, through faith, and that is not of yourself; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.” That means God offers salvation as a gift.
Salvation is the term that covers forgiveness, restoration of our relationship with God and the assurance of eternal life after we physically die. We do not deserve this gift because we sin, but even if we could earn it by our goodness, that is not the means by which God gives it. Instead, He offers it “by grace” as a free gift, to those who are willing, by faith, to receive it.
Our problem with this gift is that we tend to want to do something to earn it. Humbling ourselves before God and admitting we cannot do anything worthy to merit His favor goes against our independence and our pride. But salvation, like a luxurious towel, can belong to anyone because it is the Lord’s “good pleasure” to give. He has no ulterior motives.
Whenever anyone tries to gain salvation apart from faith, they actually are rejecting His gracious offer. Instead of wanting what He freely gives, they are giving preference to their own meager resources. Isaiah, comparing “His glorious riches in Christ Jesus” with our good deeds calls them nothing but “filthy rags.”
Because she is a Christian, my mother can receive, even though it is difficult. Today she let me massage her feet and lend her a sweater. Yesterday, she allowed me to cook her a meal while she watched and chatted. She admits that it feels good to be on the receiving end.
Especially when it comes to grace, I have to agree with her.
My husband and I took my parents to Banff the last long weekend of the summer. They had not been there since 1930 and were excited about the trip. Whenever they do travel, they seldom stay in hotels so we decided to book the executive suite at Douglas Fir Resort, a two bedroom unit with full kitchen, large living and super-large dining room. For us, it was a delight to give them the finest they had ever experienced.
My mother, unaccustomed to being waited on, never mind indulged, did not know quite how to react. For example, she brought with her two of her own towels, not even her best two. Instead of using the thick, luxurious ones supplied by the hotel, she used her own.
During the weekend, we invited nine others for a surprise family dinner and brought in Chinese food. Mom had difficulty sitting down to eat. Everyone was already enjoying their food yet she hovered over the table, asking if she could get something or do something. When the men later began putting the dishes in the dishwasher (no kidding), she was right there too. One of them finally told her she could play with the grandchildren or have a rest. They had all the help they needed.
As I watched, I realized again how difficult it is for someone who has been a server all their life to be on the receiving end. Mothers are not accustomed to their children doing everything for them. However, it is also important for us to give back. She has been so generous so it is understandable that we want to do the same for her.
The Bible clearly says, “it is better to give than receive,” yet receiving is very important. In fact, no one can become a Christian and give as God wants us to, unless they are willing to be on the receiving end.
The Apostle Paul wrote, “For by grace you are saved, through faith, and that is not of yourself; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.” That means God offers salvation as a gift.
Salvation is the term that covers forgiveness, restoration of our relationship with God and the assurance of eternal life after we physically die. We do not deserve this gift because we sin, but even if we could earn it by our goodness, that is not the means by which God gives it. Instead, He offers it “by grace” as a free gift, to those who are willing, by faith, to receive it.
Our problem with this gift is that we tend to want to do something to earn it. Humbling ourselves before God and admitting we cannot do anything worthy to merit His favor goes against our independence and our pride. But salvation, like a luxurious towel, can belong to anyone because it is the Lord’s “good pleasure” to give. He has no ulterior motives.
Whenever anyone tries to gain salvation apart from faith, they actually are rejecting His gracious offer. Instead of wanting what He freely gives, they are giving preference to their own meager resources. Isaiah, comparing “His glorious riches in Christ Jesus” with our good deeds calls them nothing but “filthy rags.”
Because she is a Christian, my mother can receive, even though it is difficult. Today she let me massage her feet and lend her a sweater. Yesterday, she allowed me to cook her a meal while she watched and chatted. She admits that it feels good to be on the receiving end.
Especially when it comes to grace, I have to agree with her.
Wednesday, June 1, 2016
Talking to Yourself? .................. Parables 439
September 20, 1994
Ever talk to yourself? Many children talk to their imaginary friends. My husband, whether at his workbench in the garage or his desk in the study, is usually discussing something with himself. As for me, when I make a mistake, I sometimes scold myself and when something goes right, I might say “Good job, Elsie.”
Although some jest this is “the first sign” (of mental illness), the practice of chatting to oneself seems normal. Some claim they do it because they cannot find a better conversational partner!
However, there is at least one situation where talking to yourself does indicate a problem. Consider this story told by Jesus: “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, ‘God, I thank You that I am not like other men; extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I possess’” (Luke 10).
As he lists his outstanding qualities, the Pharisee sounds like a great fellow. He has a first class standing as a leader in the synagogue and owns respect of his countrymen. However, he did not know how to connect with God. Notice, he was praying to himself!
Jesus shocked His listeners when He described the contrasting prayer of the tax collector. They were startled because the only thing they despised more than Roman occupation and burdensome taxes were the people who were paid by Rome to collect those taxes.
The tax collector in this story was definitely a Jew. Romans would not be praying in the temple. He was considered a traitor. For that reason, those hearing Jesus would agree that the tax collector described himself accurately: “And the tax collector, standing afar off, would not so much as raise his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me a sinner!’”
As Jesus described these two prayers, some must have thought He would praise the Pharisee. He was a religious leader and considered a godly man. He was faithful to the nation and had not sold out to the Romans.
Imagine their surprise when Jesus gave this verdict: “I tell you, this man (the tax-collector) went down to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”
God will justify even the worst sinners if they humble themselves before Him. To be justified means that God not only forgives the sin but also considers the sinner guiltless. Jesus paid the full penalty so there are no charges against them. Justification means “just as if” there were no sin.
As for the Pharisee’s boast, God is not interested in any so-called accomplishments. No matter how good a person appears, God says, “Whatever is not of faith is sin” so if there is no faith in Christ, that person falls short of pleasing Him.
Instead, God looks for a heart broken over sin. Isaiah 66:2 says, “This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word.”
The Pharisee was so proud of himself, the direction of his prayer was not even toward God. Instead, he talked to the person he actually did rely on, trust, and worship: himself. In this case, talking to himself was a big mistake.
Ever talk to yourself? Many children talk to their imaginary friends. My husband, whether at his workbench in the garage or his desk in the study, is usually discussing something with himself. As for me, when I make a mistake, I sometimes scold myself and when something goes right, I might say “Good job, Elsie.”
Although some jest this is “the first sign” (of mental illness), the practice of chatting to oneself seems normal. Some claim they do it because they cannot find a better conversational partner!
However, there is at least one situation where talking to yourself does indicate a problem. Consider this story told by Jesus: “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, ‘God, I thank You that I am not like other men; extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I possess’” (Luke 10).
As he lists his outstanding qualities, the Pharisee sounds like a great fellow. He has a first class standing as a leader in the synagogue and owns respect of his countrymen. However, he did not know how to connect with God. Notice, he was praying to himself!
Jesus shocked His listeners when He described the contrasting prayer of the tax collector. They were startled because the only thing they despised more than Roman occupation and burdensome taxes were the people who were paid by Rome to collect those taxes.
The tax collector in this story was definitely a Jew. Romans would not be praying in the temple. He was considered a traitor. For that reason, those hearing Jesus would agree that the tax collector described himself accurately: “And the tax collector, standing afar off, would not so much as raise his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me a sinner!’”
As Jesus described these two prayers, some must have thought He would praise the Pharisee. He was a religious leader and considered a godly man. He was faithful to the nation and had not sold out to the Romans.
Imagine their surprise when Jesus gave this verdict: “I tell you, this man (the tax-collector) went down to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”
God will justify even the worst sinners if they humble themselves before Him. To be justified means that God not only forgives the sin but also considers the sinner guiltless. Jesus paid the full penalty so there are no charges against them. Justification means “just as if” there were no sin.
As for the Pharisee’s boast, God is not interested in any so-called accomplishments. No matter how good a person appears, God says, “Whatever is not of faith is sin” so if there is no faith in Christ, that person falls short of pleasing Him.
Instead, God looks for a heart broken over sin. Isaiah 66:2 says, “This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word.”
The Pharisee was so proud of himself, the direction of his prayer was not even toward God. Instead, he talked to the person he actually did rely on, trust, and worship: himself. In this case, talking to himself was a big mistake.
Friday, April 22, 2016
Pride vs. Humility .................. Parables 422
May 24, 1994
Self-confident and immaculately dressed, the new preacher almost swaggered up to the pulpit. This was his first sermon in his first church. He had been an above average student in seminary, even received the faculty award for best preacher. He was certain he would revolutionize this congregation.
He smiled, more at his own assurance than at them, then opened his mouth to speak. But the words simply would not come out. He took a deep breath and tried again. Nothing but a croak. Finally he burst into tears and left the platform.
Two older women were sitting in the front row. One remarked to the other, “If he’d come in like he went out, he would have gone out like he came in.”
Isn’t it the truth? Whenever we become inflated over some accomplishment, the next time we try it, we usually do not do as well or even fall flat. The biblical adage “pride goes before a fall” is well-recognized.
Pride is too. While there is a healthy kind of pride, a respect for excellence we see in others, or a respect for a job well-done, negative pride is not healthy. The question is, how does a person maintain any balance? Most of us tend to swing back and forth between arrogant self-congratulations and unhappy self-pity.
Last week, I taught a workshop at a writer’s conference. All my faculties were focused on the task at hand. I was not thinking about me or about what anyone thought of me. I was only thinking about my audience and about communicating the information I had in the clearest way possible.
A few weeks before, I gave an oral presentation. I was concentrating on myself, whether or not I did well, and what others might be thinking. The workshop was a success but that presentation was a flop. I wanted to make a good impression and was more concerned with how I did than what I was doing. My pride interfered.
In between that awful presentation and the workshop, the Lord used His Word to show me what He thinks about humility and pride. I had some wrong ideas. It was clear that whenever vanity governed my attitudes, God would not allow success, but what did He have against pride? what is humility? and what does He want me to do with ego problems?
One of the first verses I read was Proverbs 29:23. It says, “A man’s pride brings him low; but a man of lowly spirit gains honor.”
Amazing. God says pride itself is a destructive force. For some reason, I had thought it was God who brought me low because of pride, but that verse says pride itself does it to me. No wonder He warns us to avoid pride; it is harmful.
Instead, God tells us to have a lowly spirit, but He does not mean self-pity or self-depreciation. Lowliness has nothing to do with success or failure either. It is simply serving others without being concerned what happens to me, proving I trust God to take care of me.
As far gaining honor with a lowly spirit, anyone who serves unselfishly is doing something God highly values; with God’s recognition and applause, what higher honor could anyone have?
Working without any desire for recognition, applause, or glory makes me immune to the warnings about pride; it cannot bring me down. But with His kind of lowliness, I can be sure God will bring me up.
Self-confident and immaculately dressed, the new preacher almost swaggered up to the pulpit. This was his first sermon in his first church. He had been an above average student in seminary, even received the faculty award for best preacher. He was certain he would revolutionize this congregation.
He smiled, more at his own assurance than at them, then opened his mouth to speak. But the words simply would not come out. He took a deep breath and tried again. Nothing but a croak. Finally he burst into tears and left the platform.
Two older women were sitting in the front row. One remarked to the other, “If he’d come in like he went out, he would have gone out like he came in.”
Isn’t it the truth? Whenever we become inflated over some accomplishment, the next time we try it, we usually do not do as well or even fall flat. The biblical adage “pride goes before a fall” is well-recognized.
Pride is too. While there is a healthy kind of pride, a respect for excellence we see in others, or a respect for a job well-done, negative pride is not healthy. The question is, how does a person maintain any balance? Most of us tend to swing back and forth between arrogant self-congratulations and unhappy self-pity.
Last week, I taught a workshop at a writer’s conference. All my faculties were focused on the task at hand. I was not thinking about me or about what anyone thought of me. I was only thinking about my audience and about communicating the information I had in the clearest way possible.
A few weeks before, I gave an oral presentation. I was concentrating on myself, whether or not I did well, and what others might be thinking. The workshop was a success but that presentation was a flop. I wanted to make a good impression and was more concerned with how I did than what I was doing. My pride interfered.
In between that awful presentation and the workshop, the Lord used His Word to show me what He thinks about humility and pride. I had some wrong ideas. It was clear that whenever vanity governed my attitudes, God would not allow success, but what did He have against pride? what is humility? and what does He want me to do with ego problems?
One of the first verses I read was Proverbs 29:23. It says, “A man’s pride brings him low; but a man of lowly spirit gains honor.”
Amazing. God says pride itself is a destructive force. For some reason, I had thought it was God who brought me low because of pride, but that verse says pride itself does it to me. No wonder He warns us to avoid pride; it is harmful.
Instead, God tells us to have a lowly spirit, but He does not mean self-pity or self-depreciation. Lowliness has nothing to do with success or failure either. It is simply serving others without being concerned what happens to me, proving I trust God to take care of me.
As far gaining honor with a lowly spirit, anyone who serves unselfishly is doing something God highly values; with God’s recognition and applause, what higher honor could anyone have?
Working without any desire for recognition, applause, or glory makes me immune to the warnings about pride; it cannot bring me down. But with His kind of lowliness, I can be sure God will bring me up.
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