March 27, 2001
A central Alberta country store has a bell at the checkout counter so customers can ring for the clerk when they are ready to pay for their goods. The bell is mounted on a piece of plywood inside the sprung jaws of a bear trap.
Of course the trap is in plain sight. The jaws are also nailed open lest anyone should lose an arm when all they wanted was a chocolate bar, but the humor catches its prey off guard. It also reminds us of adages such as “look before you leap” and “buyer beware.”
We need that advice every time someone makes us an offer that seems too good to be true. The pitch is believable but it seems too easy. We are skeptical. What is the catch? And we want to know before the jaws close, not after we are trapped.
For some people, the Gospel sounds too good to be true. God promises eternal life by grace, meaning it is free, and we don’t do anything to earn it? Yea, right. A skeptic is certain that there is more to it than that.
The skeptic is right. There is a catch. Eternal life is a free gift from God, but it comes wrapped in a Person — and He is the catch.
If anyone accepts God’s gift they get Jesus Christ. The Bible says, “And this is the testimony; God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. He who has the Son has life.”
Eternal life with God in heaven is impossible apart from Jesus Christ. He comes to live in us, and no matter how you dice it, living with Deity ‘up close and personal’ means we are going to change.
For one thing, His very presence changes the way we think about sin. Certain activities we once enjoyed start to lose their luster. Our conscience bothers us. We feel convicted by our sins and don’t want to displease God by continuing to do wrong. Instead, we start relying on Jesus to help us overcome our sin and do right.
Another consequence of having Jesus in our lives is that we stop trusting ourselves. Running our own lives used to be easy or at least seemed normal. We made our own decisions and did whatever we wanted to do. But with Him around, our judgments seems less reliable and many actually run contrary to His wisdom. We feel weak and continually in need of His power.
A third element of change is that we have a different attitude toward God and God’s people. At one time, we may have been hostile or at least indifferent to spiritual things. God and Christians were either dull or boring or downright ridiculous in our eyes. But when Jesus lives in us, we begin to have a fuller understanding of God and an awe of Him. We also see His people differently. They shine. They are joyful and filled with a peace that is beyond our understanding. They love us and, amazingly, we love them. Jesus does that to us.
A fourth change is that we want to tell others about God. We want them to know the joy He brings to our lives. We want them to have the same certainty we do about our eternal destiny. This new desire is not from an insecurity that needs others to agree with us but from a secure place with God and a powerful concern for the eternal well-being of those we love.
God also gives us an abiding personal relationship with Himself. This relationship is based on love and trust. It is maintained by thankful obedience to Jesus, our Savior and friend.
Yes, the Gospel has a catch to it but it is not a bear trap. Instead, it is more like another freebie that we didn’t expect; God Himself living in our hearts. We may not have thought that was possible, or was even what we wanted, but anyone who lands this Catch soon realizes that they could not live without Him.
Wednesday, February 28, 2018
Monday, February 26, 2018
That seventh day . . . ............. Parables 708
March 20, 2001
My grandfather said, “I’ve never harvested any crops that I planted on a Sunday.” He was not a religious man but Grandpa noticed the positive results of his commitment to take one rest day in his busy work week.
The original idea of taking one day a week as a day of rest comes from the Bible. It was called the Sabbath and was an important part of Jewish life. In the Old Testament, the people were commanded to keep holy the sevenths day of the week (holy = set aside for God) but their Sabbath activities often became ritual.
In the New Testament, the early Christians interpreted the Old Testament Sabbath as a ‘type’ or shadow of their relationship to Christ and their ‘rest’ in His finished work of salvation. They changed that special day to the first day of the week, the day that Jesus rose from the dead. Instead of ritual, it became a lively expression of corporate worship and celebration.
Today, the traditional ‘rest’ days are not what they used to be. For those doing shift work, weekend days are the same as any other days. Changed hours for businesses add to the difficulty of consistently making one day a special day.
Besides the above logistics, many people may take a day or two off work to rest; however, they often fill those days of rest with activities that are just as strenuous as work.
To add to the complication of a modern Sabbath, several traditions and beliefs stress which day it should be. Some religious groups argue the day must be Saturday; others insist that it must be Sunday.
In an effort to solve this, others feel that the day of the week is not as important as the principle behind the Sabbath: God worked six days when He formed the world and everything in it, then after declaring it “good,” He rested. (This is not to say God was tired but that He ceased from working for a day.) This principle of work and rest is included in the Ten Commandments and repeated throughout the Old Testament.
Since our calendar was not yet invented, it is folly to argue which day of the week compares exactly to that seventh day. Instead, we need to look at God’s example and activities and apply them to our Sabbath rest. God worked six days doing something significant; He created a world and established its operational principles. After He was finished, He looked at it and said it was good.
I don’t know about everyone, but for me, it is a wonderful (and rare) week when I can look back and say all that I did was significant and good, but when I can, it seems easier to take a day off and rest.
This makes me wonder if our human drive for significance gets carried away and pushes us into a sense that we must work harder and longer to accomplish something good? And from what do we get our sense of significance? Does that fit with God’s plan for our lives?
Another part of this issue is that God never stopped working after He rested. That is, He continues to be active in His world. Simply put, a rest at the end of our week of work is also prior to the beginning of another work week. The Sabbath rest is practical; we can go refreshed and rested into the next part of our work cycle. This points to the principle behind the Sabbath. While it was initiated as a day set aside for God, Jesus pointed out that “man was not made for the Sabbath but the Sabbath was made for man.”
This time of rest is also for our good. While we can spend it in many ways, some of it should include time to reflect on the good of the past week. We can rest in the significance we have as children of God, and as we rest our bodies, we prepare for the week ahead.
Most important of all, if we include time apart from the normal distractions of life to focus our attention on the glory and grace of our God, He will renew our spirit and give us peace.
My grandfather said, “I’ve never harvested any crops that I planted on a Sunday.” He was not a religious man but Grandpa noticed the positive results of his commitment to take one rest day in his busy work week.
The original idea of taking one day a week as a day of rest comes from the Bible. It was called the Sabbath and was an important part of Jewish life. In the Old Testament, the people were commanded to keep holy the sevenths day of the week (holy = set aside for God) but their Sabbath activities often became ritual.
In the New Testament, the early Christians interpreted the Old Testament Sabbath as a ‘type’ or shadow of their relationship to Christ and their ‘rest’ in His finished work of salvation. They changed that special day to the first day of the week, the day that Jesus rose from the dead. Instead of ritual, it became a lively expression of corporate worship and celebration.
Today, the traditional ‘rest’ days are not what they used to be. For those doing shift work, weekend days are the same as any other days. Changed hours for businesses add to the difficulty of consistently making one day a special day.
Besides the above logistics, many people may take a day or two off work to rest; however, they often fill those days of rest with activities that are just as strenuous as work.
To add to the complication of a modern Sabbath, several traditions and beliefs stress which day it should be. Some religious groups argue the day must be Saturday; others insist that it must be Sunday.
In an effort to solve this, others feel that the day of the week is not as important as the principle behind the Sabbath: God worked six days when He formed the world and everything in it, then after declaring it “good,” He rested. (This is not to say God was tired but that He ceased from working for a day.) This principle of work and rest is included in the Ten Commandments and repeated throughout the Old Testament.
Since our calendar was not yet invented, it is folly to argue which day of the week compares exactly to that seventh day. Instead, we need to look at God’s example and activities and apply them to our Sabbath rest. God worked six days doing something significant; He created a world and established its operational principles. After He was finished, He looked at it and said it was good.
I don’t know about everyone, but for me, it is a wonderful (and rare) week when I can look back and say all that I did was significant and good, but when I can, it seems easier to take a day off and rest.
This makes me wonder if our human drive for significance gets carried away and pushes us into a sense that we must work harder and longer to accomplish something good? And from what do we get our sense of significance? Does that fit with God’s plan for our lives?
Another part of this issue is that God never stopped working after He rested. That is, He continues to be active in His world. Simply put, a rest at the end of our week of work is also prior to the beginning of another work week. The Sabbath rest is practical; we can go refreshed and rested into the next part of our work cycle. This points to the principle behind the Sabbath. While it was initiated as a day set aside for God, Jesus pointed out that “man was not made for the Sabbath but the Sabbath was made for man.”
This time of rest is also for our good. While we can spend it in many ways, some of it should include time to reflect on the good of the past week. We can rest in the significance we have as children of God, and as we rest our bodies, we prepare for the week ahead.
Most important of all, if we include time apart from the normal distractions of life to focus our attention on the glory and grace of our God, He will renew our spirit and give us peace.
Friday, February 23, 2018
Problems with a purpose ............. Parables 707
March 13, 2001
Kathy talks about her healthy self-esteem. “My life was tough but I didn’t take society’s permission to feel sorry for myself. These days, counselors allow too much blame-shifting.”
By blame-shifting, Kathy referred to more than blaming people. Some say things like “it’s all my mother’s fault” or dump responsibility with words like, “I’m like this because of my childhood” or “I was abused” or “People reject me all the time.”
Kathy said too many people blame circumstances for their problems. She is not a psychologist but she does know her Bible. God expects us to take responsibility, not for what happens to us but for how we respond to what happens. He does not want us to be ‘victims of our circumstances’ but says we can be “more than conquerors through Christ who loves us.”
How can this be? If life hands us lemons, is it possible to make lemonade? The Bible says we cannot do this alone nor can we do it with the attitudes that Kathy disdained. We need help and we need God’s perspective on the difficult issues of life.
In the Old Testament, when Joseph was a boy, his brothers hated him because he was his dad’s favorite. Eventually their hatred took action. They sold the boy to slave traders and told their father that a wild beast had devoured him.
Joseph wound up in Egypt and because of his relationship with God, he was noticed and put in charge of his master’s household. But after false accusations from his master’s wife, he was put in prison and seemed doomed.
Yet even there, his faith made him stand out. He was given special attention. During this time, he showed an ability to interpret dreams and this eventually came to the attention of the Pharaoh. Joseph told this leader famine was coming so the Pharaoh gave him enormous responsibilities. During a time of plenty, Joseph ordered the nation to store their excess crops so they would be ready for what would come later.
When the famine arrived, it also affected Joseph’s family back in Canaan. As their need increased, old Jacob sent his remaining sons to Egypt to buy grain. They did not recognize their brother but after testing them, Joseph revealed his identity to them. Of course they were terrified. They knew his power and were afraid he would retaliate for what they had done to him many years before. But Joseph had never abandoned his relationship with God nor did he blame his brothers.
He responded with this incredible reasoning, “For two years now there has been famine in the land , and for the next five years there will not be plowing and reaping. But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance. So then, it was not you who sent me here but God.” His family was given a home in Egypt and he took care of them.
Later their father died. The brothers thought that now Joseph would surely take revenge, but he said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”
Joseph looked beyond what people had done to him and the circumstances of his life to see the purposes of God. Instead of becoming bitter, he became a hero.
Kathy may not be educated in the field of psychology but she does know one thing: those who look for God in their difficulties are far better off than those who look for someone or something to blame. Life can be tough but in trials, we can discover the One who is able to show us purpose and meaning. He can even use those tough situations for good.
Kathy talks about her healthy self-esteem. “My life was tough but I didn’t take society’s permission to feel sorry for myself. These days, counselors allow too much blame-shifting.”
By blame-shifting, Kathy referred to more than blaming people. Some say things like “it’s all my mother’s fault” or dump responsibility with words like, “I’m like this because of my childhood” or “I was abused” or “People reject me all the time.”
Kathy said too many people blame circumstances for their problems. She is not a psychologist but she does know her Bible. God expects us to take responsibility, not for what happens to us but for how we respond to what happens. He does not want us to be ‘victims of our circumstances’ but says we can be “more than conquerors through Christ who loves us.”
How can this be? If life hands us lemons, is it possible to make lemonade? The Bible says we cannot do this alone nor can we do it with the attitudes that Kathy disdained. We need help and we need God’s perspective on the difficult issues of life.
In the Old Testament, when Joseph was a boy, his brothers hated him because he was his dad’s favorite. Eventually their hatred took action. They sold the boy to slave traders and told their father that a wild beast had devoured him.
Joseph wound up in Egypt and because of his relationship with God, he was noticed and put in charge of his master’s household. But after false accusations from his master’s wife, he was put in prison and seemed doomed.
Yet even there, his faith made him stand out. He was given special attention. During this time, he showed an ability to interpret dreams and this eventually came to the attention of the Pharaoh. Joseph told this leader famine was coming so the Pharaoh gave him enormous responsibilities. During a time of plenty, Joseph ordered the nation to store their excess crops so they would be ready for what would come later.
When the famine arrived, it also affected Joseph’s family back in Canaan. As their need increased, old Jacob sent his remaining sons to Egypt to buy grain. They did not recognize their brother but after testing them, Joseph revealed his identity to them. Of course they were terrified. They knew his power and were afraid he would retaliate for what they had done to him many years before. But Joseph had never abandoned his relationship with God nor did he blame his brothers.
He responded with this incredible reasoning, “For two years now there has been famine in the land , and for the next five years there will not be plowing and reaping. But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance. So then, it was not you who sent me here but God.” His family was given a home in Egypt and he took care of them.
Later their father died. The brothers thought that now Joseph would surely take revenge, but he said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”
Joseph looked beyond what people had done to him and the circumstances of his life to see the purposes of God. Instead of becoming bitter, he became a hero.
Kathy may not be educated in the field of psychology but she does know one thing: those who look for God in their difficulties are far better off than those who look for someone or something to blame. Life can be tough but in trials, we can discover the One who is able to show us purpose and meaning. He can even use those tough situations for good.
Wednesday, February 21, 2018
What about the future? ............. Parables 706
March 6, 2001
Elisabeth Elliot (missionary & author) wrote, “Today is mine. Tomorrow is none of my business. If I peer anxiously into the fog of the future I will strain my spiritual eyes so that I will not see clearly what is required of me now.”
This remarkable woman was asked how she managed her time. She said, “I do the next thing. You almost always know what that is. If you do the next thing, you will be okay.”
Some people work hard to control their future. They scheme and manipulate to ensure everything happens the way they want it to happen. Others chase astrology and crystal balls to find out their future, as if knowing it will help them be ready for what is coming. Most of the time, I’ve so much to do today that there is little time to plan ahead. The future is coming but so is today’s deadlines, or my family for supper, or that dratted next appointment.
Whether strained to keep up with today or anxiously concerned about the future, Christians can take comfort that God promises to guide each of us day by day, step by step. Proverbs 16:9 says, “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.” Job put it like this, “But he knows the way that I take. . . .” and David wrote in Psalm 139, “You know when I sit and when I rise. . . You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.”
A Christian proverb reiterates: “We don’t know the future, but we know the One who holds the future.” Cliche or not, God does know what lies ahead but instead of telling us the details, He holds out His hand and invites us to follow Him around the obstacles and through that maze called life. Being ignorant of what lies ahead offers us a great opportunity to trust Him.
The Apostle Paul was on a journey to take the Gospel to Asia. With his helpers, he “tried to enter Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus would not allow them to. So they passed by Mysia and went down to Troas.”
Paul’s plans were thwarted. They were good plans but God had another idea. The next line reads, “During the night, Paul had a vision of a man of Macedonia standing and begging him, ‘Come over to Macedonia and help us.’”
That next morning, Paul “concluded that God had called them” to another destination so changed his plans and went to Macedonia where God blessed his ministry.
This week is filled with things to do but this advice applies to me also. I could make my plans and be annoyed at anyone or anything that interrupted them. But Proverbs 16:3 says, “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.”
Lord, I’ve noticed many times that when I make my plans and commit them to You, then I see how You use interruptions to refine those plans. When I keep my hand in Yours and follow where You lead me, Your directions are far better than any plan I can make. Thanks for knowing “the way I take” but also for taking me along that way.
Elisabeth Elliot (missionary & author) wrote, “Today is mine. Tomorrow is none of my business. If I peer anxiously into the fog of the future I will strain my spiritual eyes so that I will not see clearly what is required of me now.”
This remarkable woman was asked how she managed her time. She said, “I do the next thing. You almost always know what that is. If you do the next thing, you will be okay.”
Some people work hard to control their future. They scheme and manipulate to ensure everything happens the way they want it to happen. Others chase astrology and crystal balls to find out their future, as if knowing it will help them be ready for what is coming. Most of the time, I’ve so much to do today that there is little time to plan ahead. The future is coming but so is today’s deadlines, or my family for supper, or that dratted next appointment.
Whether strained to keep up with today or anxiously concerned about the future, Christians can take comfort that God promises to guide each of us day by day, step by step. Proverbs 16:9 says, “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.” Job put it like this, “But he knows the way that I take. . . .” and David wrote in Psalm 139, “You know when I sit and when I rise. . . You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.”
A Christian proverb reiterates: “We don’t know the future, but we know the One who holds the future.” Cliche or not, God does know what lies ahead but instead of telling us the details, He holds out His hand and invites us to follow Him around the obstacles and through that maze called life. Being ignorant of what lies ahead offers us a great opportunity to trust Him.
The Apostle Paul was on a journey to take the Gospel to Asia. With his helpers, he “tried to enter Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus would not allow them to. So they passed by Mysia and went down to Troas.”
Paul’s plans were thwarted. They were good plans but God had another idea. The next line reads, “During the night, Paul had a vision of a man of Macedonia standing and begging him, ‘Come over to Macedonia and help us.’”
That next morning, Paul “concluded that God had called them” to another destination so changed his plans and went to Macedonia where God blessed his ministry.
This week is filled with things to do but this advice applies to me also. I could make my plans and be annoyed at anyone or anything that interrupted them. But Proverbs 16:3 says, “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.”
Lord, I’ve noticed many times that when I make my plans and commit them to You, then I see how You use interruptions to refine those plans. When I keep my hand in Yours and follow where You lead me, Your directions are far better than any plan I can make. Thanks for knowing “the way I take” but also for taking me along that way.
Monday, February 19, 2018
Superwoman? ............. Parables 705
February 27, 2001
During the short while I was a single parent living on a farm in Central Alberta, I discovered one hard fact of life: getting a job out there cost me more than the wages I could earn.
To work anywhere, I needed decent transportation, insurance and fuel. I also needed a part-time baby sitter and a few additions to my wardrobe. When I compared the going rates offered by available employment with those expenses, the wages came up far too short.
I can testify that Malcome MacGreggor was right when he said career costs more than wages for most upper management women in today’s work force. In is the same for lesser skilled jobs. After paying for more clothes, gas, car expenses, eating out, day care, etc., there is not enough left for anything except perhaps a bigger mortgage!
My solution? I stayed home and started a small business out of my home. The cash flow was barely enough to survive but I didn’t need new clothes or huge car improvements. I was home when the children jumped off the school bus and we had enough to put food on the table.
During that time, I became a Christian. Much later, I read the biblical ideals for women and learned the controversy around those ideals. For me, staying home with the children was an easy decision, but even its mention can be a hot button for others.
Although criticized for doing so, radio psychologist, Dr. Laura applauds women for being “their kid’s mom.” She says that most women can manage to stay at home. The extra costs of going to work plus the strain put on the lives of the children are not compensated in the least by any extra income earned. She bases her values on the Bible.
Scripture does talk about women being “keepers at home” or more literally, good managers of their household responsibilities. But it also holds up an ideal in Proverbs 31 in the description of what some call a “super woman.” This super woman takes care of her household, makes winter clothes for her family, sews and sells clothing, buys land, plants and cares for a vineyard, is generous toward the poor, well-dressed herself, and has a reputation for wisdom and being a woman of honor.
Some women read that and note that she also has servants; no wonder she can do so much. Yet we have dishwashers, bread-makers, washing machines, and electric mixers. Maybe our “staff” is an even bigger help to us than hers; at least we don’t have to “arise while it is yet night” to feed our servants!
What we often miss in reading Proverbs 31 is that this woman is such a hard worker because she considers her husband’s reputation, her children’s well-being, the welfare of her servants, and the other needs of her household first. She is not working hard for herself but for them.
Sometimes I think I would like a high-paying job so I could buy more clothes, get myself a new this or that, be out there with people instead of in here with my to-do lists. But then I think about this “ideal” woman. Her children “arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.” I like that part the best.
The passage ends with, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned. . . .”
Lord, I could reward myself with more ‘stuff’ but realize Your plan for my life doesn’t require that. Instead, You want me to take care of the things You have placed in my hands. For some women, that might mean a job outside the home, but for me it has been here where You want me to work hard, enjoy my family, and be content with what I have. Thank You.
During the short while I was a single parent living on a farm in Central Alberta, I discovered one hard fact of life: getting a job out there cost me more than the wages I could earn.
To work anywhere, I needed decent transportation, insurance and fuel. I also needed a part-time baby sitter and a few additions to my wardrobe. When I compared the going rates offered by available employment with those expenses, the wages came up far too short.
I can testify that Malcome MacGreggor was right when he said career costs more than wages for most upper management women in today’s work force. In is the same for lesser skilled jobs. After paying for more clothes, gas, car expenses, eating out, day care, etc., there is not enough left for anything except perhaps a bigger mortgage!
My solution? I stayed home and started a small business out of my home. The cash flow was barely enough to survive but I didn’t need new clothes or huge car improvements. I was home when the children jumped off the school bus and we had enough to put food on the table.
During that time, I became a Christian. Much later, I read the biblical ideals for women and learned the controversy around those ideals. For me, staying home with the children was an easy decision, but even its mention can be a hot button for others.
Although criticized for doing so, radio psychologist, Dr. Laura applauds women for being “their kid’s mom.” She says that most women can manage to stay at home. The extra costs of going to work plus the strain put on the lives of the children are not compensated in the least by any extra income earned. She bases her values on the Bible.
Scripture does talk about women being “keepers at home” or more literally, good managers of their household responsibilities. But it also holds up an ideal in Proverbs 31 in the description of what some call a “super woman.” This super woman takes care of her household, makes winter clothes for her family, sews and sells clothing, buys land, plants and cares for a vineyard, is generous toward the poor, well-dressed herself, and has a reputation for wisdom and being a woman of honor.
Some women read that and note that she also has servants; no wonder she can do so much. Yet we have dishwashers, bread-makers, washing machines, and electric mixers. Maybe our “staff” is an even bigger help to us than hers; at least we don’t have to “arise while it is yet night” to feed our servants!
What we often miss in reading Proverbs 31 is that this woman is such a hard worker because she considers her husband’s reputation, her children’s well-being, the welfare of her servants, and the other needs of her household first. She is not working hard for herself but for them.
Sometimes I think I would like a high-paying job so I could buy more clothes, get myself a new this or that, be out there with people instead of in here with my to-do lists. But then I think about this “ideal” woman. Her children “arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.” I like that part the best.
The passage ends with, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned. . . .”
Lord, I could reward myself with more ‘stuff’ but realize Your plan for my life doesn’t require that. Instead, You want me to take care of the things You have placed in my hands. For some women, that might mean a job outside the home, but for me it has been here where You want me to work hard, enjoy my family, and be content with what I have. Thank You.
Friday, February 16, 2018
‘Til death do us part? ............. Parables 704
February 20, 2001
Marriage has its problems but when they come, the most popular solution these days is simply ending the relationship. Another one could be dumping it on your mother.
Consider this story. A certain mother has one daughter who is divorced. This woman had her son-in-law staying in her home rent-free while he sent support to his wife, the woman’s daughter. When he moved out, the daughter decided she wanted to move in, rent-free. Not only that, she wanted her mother to raise her two children, ages twelve and fourteen, “for the Lord.” This daughter also was in the middle of an affair with a married man. She disclosed he was the father of her oldest child.
Despite tangled stories like this one, people in our society continue to mock nuclear, two-parent families and the concept of marriage-for-life. Instead, the numbers of single parents are increasing. It is not too uncommon for a single person to adopt children. Two people of the same gender and living together also demand that privilege. It seems anything goes.
Marriage and family were not intended to be so fragmented and diverse. At the very first marriage ceremony, God joined one man and one woman. The Bible says, “A man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”
God promotes this unity throughout Scripture. He intended marriage as a sacred relationship of two people under His protection and authority. Human beings have trouble with this concept. From the beginning, we disobeyed God. Adultery and multiple marriages began right after the first family fell into sin. “Unnatural” relationships between men and men, human beings and animals, and other perversities were not far behind.
The problem is not that marriage is just one choice among many but that a biblical marriage seems impossible. It may begin well but after the glow dims and faults begin to appear, most couples separate, each looking for a mate that will forever remain shiny in their eyes.
These days, some men reason that one woman is not able to satisfy the appetites of one man. Some women, fed up with that attitude, drop men out of their lives altogether. What most do not realize is that marriage can last and be fulfilling — with help from the One who designed this relationship.
Withing the past six months, I’ve met couples who have been married to each other for sixty years or more. This seems an amazing feat but it must be noted that these are not perfect people. Their common and distinctive quality is that they made a commitment to each other and determined to make that commitment stick. They took their marriage vows seriously because they repeated them both to each other and before God.
My parents were a few days shy of their sixty-seventh anniversary when my dad died. Mom told me that for them, divorce was not the thing to do. They determined to not fight but settle their differences. They were happy together because they worked at it.
I did not follow their example. My first husband was an alcoholic and we had other problems. I thought the only way to resolve them was by escaping the marriage. Now I realize and admit this was a selfish attitude. Since then, I’ve learned that nothing is impossible with God. He has helped me through far greater difficulties than those I ran away from and proved His power to help me overcome my selfishness.
Still, I have to say that staying married is not just tough — it is impossible. In our humanness, when the going gets tough, we will bail out. We do not know how to resolve the issues or we do not want to. Yet God promises that He can “work in us, both to will and to do His good pleasure.”
Oh Lord Jesus, thank You for working to make us want a strong marriage, for giving us Your unconditional love for each other, and offering Your wisdom regarding any problems that threaten to separate us. While the challenges may be huge, so are You, our wonderful God.
Marriage has its problems but when they come, the most popular solution these days is simply ending the relationship. Another one could be dumping it on your mother.
Consider this story. A certain mother has one daughter who is divorced. This woman had her son-in-law staying in her home rent-free while he sent support to his wife, the woman’s daughter. When he moved out, the daughter decided she wanted to move in, rent-free. Not only that, she wanted her mother to raise her two children, ages twelve and fourteen, “for the Lord.” This daughter also was in the middle of an affair with a married man. She disclosed he was the father of her oldest child.
Despite tangled stories like this one, people in our society continue to mock nuclear, two-parent families and the concept of marriage-for-life. Instead, the numbers of single parents are increasing. It is not too uncommon for a single person to adopt children. Two people of the same gender and living together also demand that privilege. It seems anything goes.
Marriage and family were not intended to be so fragmented and diverse. At the very first marriage ceremony, God joined one man and one woman. The Bible says, “A man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”
God promotes this unity throughout Scripture. He intended marriage as a sacred relationship of two people under His protection and authority. Human beings have trouble with this concept. From the beginning, we disobeyed God. Adultery and multiple marriages began right after the first family fell into sin. “Unnatural” relationships between men and men, human beings and animals, and other perversities were not far behind.
The problem is not that marriage is just one choice among many but that a biblical marriage seems impossible. It may begin well but after the glow dims and faults begin to appear, most couples separate, each looking for a mate that will forever remain shiny in their eyes.
These days, some men reason that one woman is not able to satisfy the appetites of one man. Some women, fed up with that attitude, drop men out of their lives altogether. What most do not realize is that marriage can last and be fulfilling — with help from the One who designed this relationship.
Withing the past six months, I’ve met couples who have been married to each other for sixty years or more. This seems an amazing feat but it must be noted that these are not perfect people. Their common and distinctive quality is that they made a commitment to each other and determined to make that commitment stick. They took their marriage vows seriously because they repeated them both to each other and before God.
My parents were a few days shy of their sixty-seventh anniversary when my dad died. Mom told me that for them, divorce was not the thing to do. They determined to not fight but settle their differences. They were happy together because they worked at it.
I did not follow their example. My first husband was an alcoholic and we had other problems. I thought the only way to resolve them was by escaping the marriage. Now I realize and admit this was a selfish attitude. Since then, I’ve learned that nothing is impossible with God. He has helped me through far greater difficulties than those I ran away from and proved His power to help me overcome my selfishness.
Still, I have to say that staying married is not just tough — it is impossible. In our humanness, when the going gets tough, we will bail out. We do not know how to resolve the issues or we do not want to. Yet God promises that He can “work in us, both to will and to do His good pleasure.”
Oh Lord Jesus, thank You for working to make us want a strong marriage, for giving us Your unconditional love for each other, and offering Your wisdom regarding any problems that threaten to separate us. While the challenges may be huge, so are You, our wonderful God.
Wednesday, February 14, 2018
Honoring Mom ............. Parables 703
February 13, 2001
It was a difficult week. We received a call from Home Care saying my mother must be moved from her home in a senior’s manor to a long-term care facility in another city.
My mother has Alzheimer’s disease. She cannot remember the names of things, like her clock or her lamp. For her, change is most stressful. If moving were not confusing enough, she would be in a different kind of space, cared for by people she had never known.
For me, the physical effort to move her was challenging but nothing compared to the emotional pain of watching her struggle with another adjustment. To add to that stress, I recently heard a woman from an advocacy group for the elderly describing incidents of elder abuse and how helpless family members are to combat it. How would this place take care of my mother? Would she be safe? Could she tell me if she was not?
After interviewing the staff in her new situation, it became obvious that my fears were groundless. They understand her needs and have adequate staff to meet them. The other seniors enjoy being there. The staff instantly began showing Mom affection with a loving and kind attitude. She was soon smiling and taking notice of the new things around her.
At the same time, my mom is often on my mind. God commands that we honor our parents. Sometimes I falter at knowing how to do that even though my mother is not at all a “cranky old lady” but an easy-to-please sweetheart.
The command to honor parents runs throughout Scripture, even to include that we must also honor and protect all senior members of our society. The Lord makes no distinction between strong and healthy, weak and infirm. In His sight, they are to be cared for and respected.
Honoring aging people makes sense. It is in them that we find our history and the wisdom of experience. They have the stories of our past and even if we have heard them many times, we need to encourage the telling. Without it, we lose a sense of our place in history.
While age does not necessarily bring wisdom, it should. Proverbs 16:31 says, “Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained by a righteous life.” Some versions insert an “if” in the middle. Righteousness is an integral component of becoming wise.
As I visit my mother, I sometimes chat with others of her era. For the most part, these older people have picked up many insights. They have a humor about life, a casualness that almost mocks the way this generation runs its rat race. They have learned that life is short and some things are not nearly as important as we think. Yet even if they are unable to share their stories and wisdom, aging people still have great value. Those who cannot talk or care for themselves offer us opportunity to take care of them.
In my situation, having guardianship for my mother (and my father before he died) brought me to a deeper reliance on God. Their needs pulled from me a compassion and kindness that I might not otherwise have developed. Through them, God is working on my ability to care.
The New Testament says, “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”
A widowed mother could bring me distress if I forgot that she herself is in distress. She needs me to take my faith seriously. While this is not an easy assignment, it does keep my hands from being idle. Who knows, could this task be God’s way of filling my life with so much to do that I don’t have time to meddle in the world’s pollution?
Lord, You know my prayers for my mother. May Your Spirit continue to nurture her and give her joy. May that same Spirit grant me grace and energy that I might be a part of how You answer those prayers.
It was a difficult week. We received a call from Home Care saying my mother must be moved from her home in a senior’s manor to a long-term care facility in another city.
My mother has Alzheimer’s disease. She cannot remember the names of things, like her clock or her lamp. For her, change is most stressful. If moving were not confusing enough, she would be in a different kind of space, cared for by people she had never known.
For me, the physical effort to move her was challenging but nothing compared to the emotional pain of watching her struggle with another adjustment. To add to that stress, I recently heard a woman from an advocacy group for the elderly describing incidents of elder abuse and how helpless family members are to combat it. How would this place take care of my mother? Would she be safe? Could she tell me if she was not?
After interviewing the staff in her new situation, it became obvious that my fears were groundless. They understand her needs and have adequate staff to meet them. The other seniors enjoy being there. The staff instantly began showing Mom affection with a loving and kind attitude. She was soon smiling and taking notice of the new things around her.
At the same time, my mom is often on my mind. God commands that we honor our parents. Sometimes I falter at knowing how to do that even though my mother is not at all a “cranky old lady” but an easy-to-please sweetheart.
The command to honor parents runs throughout Scripture, even to include that we must also honor and protect all senior members of our society. The Lord makes no distinction between strong and healthy, weak and infirm. In His sight, they are to be cared for and respected.
Honoring aging people makes sense. It is in them that we find our history and the wisdom of experience. They have the stories of our past and even if we have heard them many times, we need to encourage the telling. Without it, we lose a sense of our place in history.
While age does not necessarily bring wisdom, it should. Proverbs 16:31 says, “Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained by a righteous life.” Some versions insert an “if” in the middle. Righteousness is an integral component of becoming wise.
As I visit my mother, I sometimes chat with others of her era. For the most part, these older people have picked up many insights. They have a humor about life, a casualness that almost mocks the way this generation runs its rat race. They have learned that life is short and some things are not nearly as important as we think. Yet even if they are unable to share their stories and wisdom, aging people still have great value. Those who cannot talk or care for themselves offer us opportunity to take care of them.
In my situation, having guardianship for my mother (and my father before he died) brought me to a deeper reliance on God. Their needs pulled from me a compassion and kindness that I might not otherwise have developed. Through them, God is working on my ability to care.
The New Testament says, “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”
A widowed mother could bring me distress if I forgot that she herself is in distress. She needs me to take my faith seriously. While this is not an easy assignment, it does keep my hands from being idle. Who knows, could this task be God’s way of filling my life with so much to do that I don’t have time to meddle in the world’s pollution?
Lord, You know my prayers for my mother. May Your Spirit continue to nurture her and give her joy. May that same Spirit grant me grace and energy that I might be a part of how You answer those prayers.
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