October 31, 2000
My old friend walked into the crowded room without looking at anyone. His expression was beyond despair; a hopeless blank daze. His face was swollen, as if he had been crying for weeks. I’d not seen him for a long time yet as I went to him, I wondered what to say.
After a greeting, I asked about his health. He said he was not well but that was not his biggest problem. “It’s depression. I don’t think God loves me. I’ve been raised from a child not to believe it. I know in my head that I am wrong, but that doesn’t help.”
Recognizing severe depression and my own helplessness regarding a ‘quick fix,’ I thanked him for telling me his need, and told him I would pray against that lie. I am praying and it is a lie. God does love us. His Word says so and He proved it.
Besides that, God exposes the liar who challenges His love. In the New Testament, Jesus names him. He is a spiritual character called Satan or the devil. The Son of God called this person “a liar” and the “father of lies.”
In other words, every lie originates with him, beginning with his destructive work in the garden of Eden. There, finding Eve alone, he convinced her to do what God had forbidden by suggesting that God had not given the command at all, and even if He did, it was because He was withholding something desirable from her. In a few words, Satan insinuated that God gave His commands for His own reasons, that He is selfish, that He is not thinking about what is good for us, and that He does not love us.
At that accusation, Eve doubted God’s love for her and immediately disobeyed His one command. She encouraged her husband to do the same. Together, they became alienated from God, not just because they disobeyed but because they thought He no longer loved them.
In one way, this story is repeated in marriages, family relationships and friendships. One person in the relationship thinks the other no longer loves them. Even if it is a lie, the very idea of love gone cold drives a wedge between them. One or both begin to withdraw. One may try to win the other person back or do things to earn or deserve love. What was once a loving relationship becomes something quite different.
On the other hand, knowing someone loves you, no matter what you do, is a powerful force. For one thing, it sets people free to be themselves. All pretense disappears. The true personality begins to rise to the surface. Honesty happens. So does humility and thanksgiving. In spite of what could be negative, being loved actually brings out the best in someone rather than encouraging them to their worst. The love of God is like that.
God’s love is unconditional. The Bible says “Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possible dare to die. God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
The love of God also never ends. Jeremiah 33:11 says, “Give thanks to the Lord Almighty, for the Lord is good; his love endures forever.” Others may give up; God does not.
The love of God is for everyone. Jesus said these familiar words, “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life.” Whosoever is a big word.
My friend is walking proof that we need the love of God. We need to know it, be convinced of it, and allow it to permeate our lives. That love lifts our sense of worth, tells us we are accepted, sets us free to grow and love God and others in return, and even adds to our health.
In contrast, the lie says: “You have to earn the love of God, and look at you . . . your life is a mess. You can’t do anything right.” It says, “God’s love has limits” or “He only loves certain people,” or “Obeying His commands is harmful, not beneficial.” The lie can even make us ill.
Truth says our lives may be a mess or we cannot do many things right, but despite the shape we are in, God says we do not earn or deserve His love, although we do need it. In grace and mercy, He freely offers His love and His love helps us resist the lie and gladly receive His truth, enabling us to respond as all lovers respond to someone who is utterly devoted to them.
Showing posts with label unconditionally loved. Show all posts
Showing posts with label unconditionally loved. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 3, 2018
Monday, December 11, 2017
Want to be loved? .......... Parables 678
July 25, 2000
We watch her weave a spell as she makes new friends. They are mesmerized by her stories. Every word she says captivates their attention. Little do they know that most of what she tells them is exaggerated and some are outright lies.
Getting to know this person showed me the power of our human need to be loved. In her case, she was not sure. Her mother had been married twice. She had been a pampered child but now in her teens, she was expected to drop the “cute stuff” and act more grown up. This seemed to make her insecure about her family’s affections. Did a change from being the center of attention to acting more “responsible” mean she was no longer loveable?
Driven by insecurity, this young woman becomes a story teller. She spins yarns that take her listeners out of their ordinary existence and makes her fantasies their fantasies — only they sound true. She may even believe her own lies, but that is unlikely.
We caught her a few times, mostly in the details. She mentioned swimming near a particular kind of shark, a variety we knew does not live in the waters where she swam. She told about meeting famous people, or about knowing skills she does not possess. When we questioned her details, she “adjusted” her story and kept right on spinning.
Our goal was convincing her that we love her, no matter what. After a few days, she relaxed. She also stopped telling stories. She seemed to realize that they were not necessary, at least around us.
Jesus met a woman who felt the same need for love and also looked for it in the wrong places. She’d been married five times and currently lived with someone. She seemed ostracized because she went alone during the noon hour for water when other women went early in the day. Perhaps she feared their condemnation.
When Jesus talked to her, she was amazed. Jews never talked to women or to her kind; she was a Samaritan (half-breed Jew and Gentile). Besides, she had a bad reputation and His was flawless.
Jesus wanted her to know that God loves her but how would He get past years of low self-esteem? Just speaking to her helped, but He also asked questions and persisted when she avoided straight answers. He told her He knew how many times she had been married and yet treated her with respect. She wanted to hear more.
He told her how to get living water, the kind that bubbles up into eternal life. She wanted that too. Amazed at this man and His good news, she dropped her water pot and ran to tell everyone in her village to come and hear Him for themselves.
God does love us. The Bible says “God demonstrates his own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
He didn’t wait until we cleaned up our act. In fact, He died for us before we were even born. He knew then that our lives would fall short of His glory. He also knew we would need proof that His love is based on what He is, not on what we are or do. We cannot pretend to be anything other than we are before God because we don’t need to.
Our part is to simply be honest, admit our short comings and fears, acknowledge our sins. His love is experienced by those who trust Him, believing He wants the best for us. We can see it first in the sacrifice made on the cross for our sakes.
Human love is a powerful force yet so often it produces dependance on our feelings or makes us objects for imperfect people who want us to measure up to their expectations. God’s love depends only on God and as long as He is God, that love is firm.
We watch her weave a spell as she makes new friends. They are mesmerized by her stories. Every word she says captivates their attention. Little do they know that most of what she tells them is exaggerated and some are outright lies.
Getting to know this person showed me the power of our human need to be loved. In her case, she was not sure. Her mother had been married twice. She had been a pampered child but now in her teens, she was expected to drop the “cute stuff” and act more grown up. This seemed to make her insecure about her family’s affections. Did a change from being the center of attention to acting more “responsible” mean she was no longer loveable?
Driven by insecurity, this young woman becomes a story teller. She spins yarns that take her listeners out of their ordinary existence and makes her fantasies their fantasies — only they sound true. She may even believe her own lies, but that is unlikely.
We caught her a few times, mostly in the details. She mentioned swimming near a particular kind of shark, a variety we knew does not live in the waters where she swam. She told about meeting famous people, or about knowing skills she does not possess. When we questioned her details, she “adjusted” her story and kept right on spinning.
Our goal was convincing her that we love her, no matter what. After a few days, she relaxed. She also stopped telling stories. She seemed to realize that they were not necessary, at least around us.
Jesus met a woman who felt the same need for love and also looked for it in the wrong places. She’d been married five times and currently lived with someone. She seemed ostracized because she went alone during the noon hour for water when other women went early in the day. Perhaps she feared their condemnation.
When Jesus talked to her, she was amazed. Jews never talked to women or to her kind; she was a Samaritan (half-breed Jew and Gentile). Besides, she had a bad reputation and His was flawless.
Jesus wanted her to know that God loves her but how would He get past years of low self-esteem? Just speaking to her helped, but He also asked questions and persisted when she avoided straight answers. He told her He knew how many times she had been married and yet treated her with respect. She wanted to hear more.
He told her how to get living water, the kind that bubbles up into eternal life. She wanted that too. Amazed at this man and His good news, she dropped her water pot and ran to tell everyone in her village to come and hear Him for themselves.
God does love us. The Bible says “God demonstrates his own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
He didn’t wait until we cleaned up our act. In fact, He died for us before we were even born. He knew then that our lives would fall short of His glory. He also knew we would need proof that His love is based on what He is, not on what we are or do. We cannot pretend to be anything other than we are before God because we don’t need to.
Our part is to simply be honest, admit our short comings and fears, acknowledge our sins. His love is experienced by those who trust Him, believing He wants the best for us. We can see it first in the sacrifice made on the cross for our sakes.
Human love is a powerful force yet so often it produces dependance on our feelings or makes us objects for imperfect people who want us to measure up to their expectations. God’s love depends only on God and as long as He is God, that love is firm.
Wednesday, August 16, 2017
Love is the higher law .......... Parables 628
February 2, 1999
A group of religious teachers and Pharisees dragged a woman into the courtyard and dumped her in front of Jesus. “This woman was caught in the very act of adultery. The law says we should stone her to death. What do you say?”
Jesus held His tongue. I wonder if I could have done the same?
On a different day, another woman came into the synagogue where Jesus was teaching. She was crippled and bent over, unable to stand. Jesus called her over and then healed her. The worship leader was indignant. He yelled at the people, “There are six days for work. So come and be healed on those days, not on the Sabbath.”
Jesus immediately retorted, “You hypocrites!” Had I been there, I wonder what I would have said or done, especially if someone had violated my religious convictions?
The more I read about Jesus, the more I am amazed at how He responded to people. He was often unpredictable yet each surprising instance underscores the fact that He understands human hearts. We tend to look only on the surface but He know our motivations.
For instance, Jesus knew the religious leaders of His day were not concerned about mercy. They did not care about the shame and pain of both the adulteress and the cripple. Their idea of justice was that everyone ought to keep the law to the letter and be punished to the greatest extent for all infractions. This notion motivated all their actions.
Jesus was not like that. He was deeply merciful, from the heart. However, His mercy enraged the Pharisees. To them, God’s laws were not suggestions but strict rules that must be kept. Why wouldn’t this man who called Himself the Son of God hold a hard line? Why would He be merciful to an adulteress? Why would He break the Sabbath to heal a mere woman?
Jesus did not defend His compassion. He knew God’s intention concerning the Law that He gave to Israel. As God’s Son, He had been involved in their formulation. Like the Father, He was interested in a response from the heart. He said the greatest commandments were to “love God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and your neighbor as yourself.”
The Pharisees did not understand that love is a ‘do’ command. They interpreted God’s Law with an emphasis on ‘do not.’ They failed to understand that God intended the Law as a measurement of their love, not as a set of regulations they could impose on everyone else.
Love is the higher law. It is also the law that Jesus lived by. For example, He did not drag people caught in sin into a public courtyard and heartlessly demand that they be punished. He knew the shame in their hearts. He also knew the power of God to change their lives.
In the case of the adulteress, Jesus also knew the Pharisees were using her to trick Him. They knew His reputation for mercy and used it in hopes that He would deny the legitimacy of the Law of Moses. They could use that against Him.
But in a surprising move, Jesus turned the trick back on them. He asked if any of them were sinless. If so, He said that person could cast the first stone. One by one they left. Then Jesus turned to the woman and said to her, “Go, and sin no more.”
As for the crippled woman in the temple, Jesus taught that the Sabbath was made for our benefit, not to put us in bondage or force us to be inconsiderate. Love is interested in helping and healing, regardless of the day.
The Pharisees pretended to love God by insisting everyone must keep the rules, but they had no regard for the needs of people. They topped it off by condemning Jesus for His mercy. Today, religious people can also become so zealous about rules that they forget mercy, even condemn those who remember it.
Maybe we need a fresh visit from Jesus.
A group of religious teachers and Pharisees dragged a woman into the courtyard and dumped her in front of Jesus. “This woman was caught in the very act of adultery. The law says we should stone her to death. What do you say?”
Jesus held His tongue. I wonder if I could have done the same?
On a different day, another woman came into the synagogue where Jesus was teaching. She was crippled and bent over, unable to stand. Jesus called her over and then healed her. The worship leader was indignant. He yelled at the people, “There are six days for work. So come and be healed on those days, not on the Sabbath.”
Jesus immediately retorted, “You hypocrites!” Had I been there, I wonder what I would have said or done, especially if someone had violated my religious convictions?
The more I read about Jesus, the more I am amazed at how He responded to people. He was often unpredictable yet each surprising instance underscores the fact that He understands human hearts. We tend to look only on the surface but He know our motivations.
For instance, Jesus knew the religious leaders of His day were not concerned about mercy. They did not care about the shame and pain of both the adulteress and the cripple. Their idea of justice was that everyone ought to keep the law to the letter and be punished to the greatest extent for all infractions. This notion motivated all their actions.
Jesus was not like that. He was deeply merciful, from the heart. However, His mercy enraged the Pharisees. To them, God’s laws were not suggestions but strict rules that must be kept. Why wouldn’t this man who called Himself the Son of God hold a hard line? Why would He be merciful to an adulteress? Why would He break the Sabbath to heal a mere woman?
Jesus did not defend His compassion. He knew God’s intention concerning the Law that He gave to Israel. As God’s Son, He had been involved in their formulation. Like the Father, He was interested in a response from the heart. He said the greatest commandments were to “love God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and your neighbor as yourself.”
The Pharisees did not understand that love is a ‘do’ command. They interpreted God’s Law with an emphasis on ‘do not.’ They failed to understand that God intended the Law as a measurement of their love, not as a set of regulations they could impose on everyone else.
Love is the higher law. It is also the law that Jesus lived by. For example, He did not drag people caught in sin into a public courtyard and heartlessly demand that they be punished. He knew the shame in their hearts. He also knew the power of God to change their lives.
In the case of the adulteress, Jesus also knew the Pharisees were using her to trick Him. They knew His reputation for mercy and used it in hopes that He would deny the legitimacy of the Law of Moses. They could use that against Him.
But in a surprising move, Jesus turned the trick back on them. He asked if any of them were sinless. If so, He said that person could cast the first stone. One by one they left. Then Jesus turned to the woman and said to her, “Go, and sin no more.”
As for the crippled woman in the temple, Jesus taught that the Sabbath was made for our benefit, not to put us in bondage or force us to be inconsiderate. Love is interested in helping and healing, regardless of the day.
The Pharisees pretended to love God by insisting everyone must keep the rules, but they had no regard for the needs of people. They topped it off by condemning Jesus for His mercy. Today, religious people can also become so zealous about rules that they forget mercy, even condemn those who remember it.
Maybe we need a fresh visit from Jesus.
Wednesday, April 19, 2017
Hiding under layers? ................ Parables 577
December 16, 1997
There is a lake in the Antarctica with water reading 80 degrees Fahrenheit. However, if anyone wanted to dive in and explore it, they would have to take with them a drill or a saw. Chilled by cold air above it, this lake is covered with ice.
George (not his real name) is like that. If there is a warm person on the inside, he keeps it well hidden under a self-protection layer of reserve. Others cannot get to know him or experience what he is like on the inside.
George might admit that he is afraid if others knew him well, they would not like him very much. He protects himself from rejection by what Christian counselor and psychologist Larry Crabb calls “layers.” Like the ice over the lake, these layers hide what is underneath. Crabb says it is almost always insecurity about acceptance, worth or competence.
Whether or not we use the term “layers,” most of us are aware of what we think are our flaws. We might use cosmetics to hide external marks and blemishes but there are no cover sticks for feelings of inferiority. Instead, we either withdraw or go overboard to prove ourselves.
Some people do it with their possessions. They buy the latest car or computer and show off by boasting about it. Others hide their inadequacy behind shyness, reasoning that if people do not notice them, they will not ask them to do anything and they will never betray their inabilities.
Others hide in alcohol or drugs, or become involved with one boy or girl friend after another. Some become powerful controllers who manipulate people so no one can see their weaknesses. Some retreat and become doormats. For them, being told what to do is easier than having people find out they are unable (or so they think) to make their own plans, never mind carry them out.
People who try to feel loved, valuable and competent through making demands on others or their own performance or possessions, always fall short. The main problem is that material things never last and people, even at their best, are unreliable.
For people made in His image, these three core needs can only be met by the triune God. He can make us feel complete. He says, “I have loved you with an everlasting love, and in loving kindness I have drawn you.” He always cares, and proved it by sending His Son to die for us. When others fail to love us, God’s love is reliable and unconditional. We do not earn it or deserve it but it is something in His nature. He is a God of love. That is what He does.
We can also measure our worth by the price that God was willing to pay for us. To Him, our value is the life of His Son. That is what He paid to redeem us. We are people of worth to God. We do not need to prove ourselves but entrust ourselves to His love and value system.
Competence comes also from God. He gives His Holy Spirit to each one who believes in Him and receives His Son as personal Savior and Lord. The Holy Spirit is a willing helper but we are not His robots. If we want to have His power and live using His competence, we must yield to Him. That yielding is immediately forfeited whenever we put up layers.
Instead, God tells us to deal with our inadequacies by dropping all self-protecting layers and acknowledging our insecurities to Him. Through Christ, we can know we are loved and have worth. Through His Spirit, we “can do all things.” We do not have to hide or prove anything.
In God’s care, we may at first feel vulnerable without our layers but as we learn to operate in His three-sided triangle of love, worth and competence, feeling weak gradually becomes something to appreciate. The Apostle Paul even said he could “boast gladly” about his inadequacies. He knew that God Himself promised His power is made perfect in our weaknesses and His grace is sufficient to set us free from all our fears.
There is a lake in the Antarctica with water reading 80 degrees Fahrenheit. However, if anyone wanted to dive in and explore it, they would have to take with them a drill or a saw. Chilled by cold air above it, this lake is covered with ice.
George (not his real name) is like that. If there is a warm person on the inside, he keeps it well hidden under a self-protection layer of reserve. Others cannot get to know him or experience what he is like on the inside.
George might admit that he is afraid if others knew him well, they would not like him very much. He protects himself from rejection by what Christian counselor and psychologist Larry Crabb calls “layers.” Like the ice over the lake, these layers hide what is underneath. Crabb says it is almost always insecurity about acceptance, worth or competence.
Whether or not we use the term “layers,” most of us are aware of what we think are our flaws. We might use cosmetics to hide external marks and blemishes but there are no cover sticks for feelings of inferiority. Instead, we either withdraw or go overboard to prove ourselves.
Some people do it with their possessions. They buy the latest car or computer and show off by boasting about it. Others hide their inadequacy behind shyness, reasoning that if people do not notice them, they will not ask them to do anything and they will never betray their inabilities.
Others hide in alcohol or drugs, or become involved with one boy or girl friend after another. Some become powerful controllers who manipulate people so no one can see their weaknesses. Some retreat and become doormats. For them, being told what to do is easier than having people find out they are unable (or so they think) to make their own plans, never mind carry them out.
People who try to feel loved, valuable and competent through making demands on others or their own performance or possessions, always fall short. The main problem is that material things never last and people, even at their best, are unreliable.
For people made in His image, these three core needs can only be met by the triune God. He can make us feel complete. He says, “I have loved you with an everlasting love, and in loving kindness I have drawn you.” He always cares, and proved it by sending His Son to die for us. When others fail to love us, God’s love is reliable and unconditional. We do not earn it or deserve it but it is something in His nature. He is a God of love. That is what He does.
We can also measure our worth by the price that God was willing to pay for us. To Him, our value is the life of His Son. That is what He paid to redeem us. We are people of worth to God. We do not need to prove ourselves but entrust ourselves to His love and value system.
Competence comes also from God. He gives His Holy Spirit to each one who believes in Him and receives His Son as personal Savior and Lord. The Holy Spirit is a willing helper but we are not His robots. If we want to have His power and live using His competence, we must yield to Him. That yielding is immediately forfeited whenever we put up layers.
Instead, God tells us to deal with our inadequacies by dropping all self-protecting layers and acknowledging our insecurities to Him. Through Christ, we can know we are loved and have worth. Through His Spirit, we “can do all things.” We do not have to hide or prove anything.
In God’s care, we may at first feel vulnerable without our layers but as we learn to operate in His three-sided triangle of love, worth and competence, feeling weak gradually becomes something to appreciate. The Apostle Paul even said he could “boast gladly” about his inadequacies. He knew that God Himself promised His power is made perfect in our weaknesses and His grace is sufficient to set us free from all our fears.
Monday, May 23, 2016
Importance of love .................. Parables 435
August 23, 1994
Love is risky. We all know it. Boy meets girl and they fall in love, then one of them changes their mind and the other one is devastated. The risky side of love is that there is no guarantee of a return on the investment.
Love is also vital. It must be, because, for the most part, no matter the risks of falling in love, it still happens. Experiments prove that unloved children (and adults) have poorer health and some even die. Receiving love is a basic need. Giving love is also a basic need, as we shall see.
Because of pain after having their love rejected, a few people refuse to love again. For them, the risk was not worth it; their hearts have been broken. Without a return on their investment, they do not want to love anyone. It makes them too vulnerable to tragedy.
They are partly right. C. S. Lewis says it well: “To love is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, no even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the coffin of your selfishness....”
Definitely the opposite of love is self-indulgence. As Lewis says, it is pampering the heart and making comfortable the body, refusing to take risks, and flat-out denying the love-needs of others.
The familiar words of John 3:16 stand out in stark contrast to this idea of holding back love. It describes how God made Himself vulnerable and took the risk of loving us. “For God so loved the world He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life.”
God’s love is unlike ours. He did not concern Himself with getting strokes, enjoying hugs, receiving gifts, or basking in complements. His love gives – as demonstrated by Christ Himself. What more could God do to show He loves us than by giving His own life?
Further, He did it “while we were still sinners” (Romans 5). Since sinners are people who reject God and do not love Him, being loved in return was not the issue for God. Had it been, He would not have gave so much to people who were ultimately going to reject and crucify Him.
Scripture describes love, not as an emotion but as attitudes and actions. Both require decisions; read 1 Corinthians 13. Love is patient—lovers decide to be patient. Love is kind—lovers choose kindness. Love does not hold grudges—lovers sometimes even acts apart from contrary inner feelings.
Followers of Christ must be committed to His kind of love. In fact, without love, Jesus said no one can be His disciple. He describes it as being willing to give up control, comfort, pride, and personal rights for the sake of God and the eternal good of others. It is a choice, a risky but vital decision.
Those not wanting to risk it, as C. S. Lewis says, will wind up clinging to their comfort, and guarding personal wants and rights carefully, locking them safely in the coffin of selfishness.
Lewis goes on: “But in that casket--safe, dark, motionless, airless--your heart will change. It will not be broken, it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.”
Love is risky. We all know it. Boy meets girl and they fall in love, then one of them changes their mind and the other one is devastated. The risky side of love is that there is no guarantee of a return on the investment.
Love is also vital. It must be, because, for the most part, no matter the risks of falling in love, it still happens. Experiments prove that unloved children (and adults) have poorer health and some even die. Receiving love is a basic need. Giving love is also a basic need, as we shall see.
Because of pain after having their love rejected, a few people refuse to love again. For them, the risk was not worth it; their hearts have been broken. Without a return on their investment, they do not want to love anyone. It makes them too vulnerable to tragedy.
They are partly right. C. S. Lewis says it well: “To love is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, no even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the coffin of your selfishness....”
Definitely the opposite of love is self-indulgence. As Lewis says, it is pampering the heart and making comfortable the body, refusing to take risks, and flat-out denying the love-needs of others.
The familiar words of John 3:16 stand out in stark contrast to this idea of holding back love. It describes how God made Himself vulnerable and took the risk of loving us. “For God so loved the world He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life.”
God’s love is unlike ours. He did not concern Himself with getting strokes, enjoying hugs, receiving gifts, or basking in complements. His love gives – as demonstrated by Christ Himself. What more could God do to show He loves us than by giving His own life?
Further, He did it “while we were still sinners” (Romans 5). Since sinners are people who reject God and do not love Him, being loved in return was not the issue for God. Had it been, He would not have gave so much to people who were ultimately going to reject and crucify Him.
Scripture describes love, not as an emotion but as attitudes and actions. Both require decisions; read 1 Corinthians 13. Love is patient—lovers decide to be patient. Love is kind—lovers choose kindness. Love does not hold grudges—lovers sometimes even acts apart from contrary inner feelings.
Followers of Christ must be committed to His kind of love. In fact, without love, Jesus said no one can be His disciple. He describes it as being willing to give up control, comfort, pride, and personal rights for the sake of God and the eternal good of others. It is a choice, a risky but vital decision.
Those not wanting to risk it, as C. S. Lewis says, will wind up clinging to their comfort, and guarding personal wants and rights carefully, locking them safely in the coffin of selfishness.
Lewis goes on: “But in that casket--safe, dark, motionless, airless--your heart will change. It will not be broken, it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.”
Monday, April 11, 2016
Loved like an old sweater .................. Parables 417
April 19, 1994
At eighty-five years young, my father has a sharp mind but his body is slowing down. During a recent visit, I noticed how many times he talked about old people who feel useless. He never mentioned he personally felt useless but it seemed he might be thinking that way.
After two days together, our conversation turned to teenagers and how they often lack a sense of self-worth. I mentioned that many people, both young and old, struggle with self-esteem. So easily, we try to get it from either our possessions, our popularity, or our achievements. The downside of using those things to give us a sense of worth is that do not last. When they go, so does our self-esteem.
My dad totally agreed. After eight and a half decades, he knows first hand how quickly money and material goods come and go. At one time his Scottish heritage made him a thrifty person. Now he is not concerned if he spends his money because having it means much less than it once did.
We talked about the times I taught seminars on self-esteem. In them, I shared how it is possible to develop a solid sense of worth on something that can never fade or be taken away from us. In contrast, if money is the foundation for our value, we will never have enough. If we make popularity the thing to give us worth, then how many friends will we need to be satisfied? Further, no matter what anyone achieves, someone always comes along to out-do their achievement.
As we chatted, I said our worth is far more secure when it is based on Christ who does not change. By dying for our sins, He proved He loves us. Further, He died for us when we were still sinners, so He accepts us no matter what we have done. Knowing His perfect love is very important to a healthy self-worth.
Then I told my dad a true story about an old sweater.
A certain popular author had a pullover hanging in the back of his closet. It no longer fit him and was worn full of holes. He never wore it anymore. Logic told him he should throw it away. It was so shabby.
But his heart would not let him get rid of the sweater. Even though it was not useful, attractive, nor able to keep him warm, he considered it precious. He even loved it. The pullover was valuable in his sight because of who made it. Years ago, it was knit for him by his beloved mother.
I told my dad this is like the love of God. He cares for us regardless of our usefulness or beauty. Sometimes we forget that. Our logic says that when we are old and faded, worn and useless, there is nothing left for anyone to care about.
But the love of God is not based on those qualities or on who we are. His love is based on who He is and it does not change because He does not change. Hebrews 1 says, “In the beginning, O Lord, you laid the foundations of the earth, and the heavens are the work of your hands. They will perish, but you remain; they will all wear out like a garment. You will roll them up like a robe; like a garment they will be changed. But you remain the same, and your years will never end.”
The earth will perish, never mind the stuff that we collect or achieve, but the love of God is a constant thing. Those who rest in that love can be assured they are like an old sweater. God has no intention of cleaning out His closet because those He has made and redeemed are precious to Him.
The day I talked with dad, I also vacuumed his room. His closet door was open and I noticed hanging in the back were a few worn-out old pullovers and cardigans. Maybe that is why his eyes filled with tears when I reminded him he is loved just like an old sweater.
At eighty-five years young, my father has a sharp mind but his body is slowing down. During a recent visit, I noticed how many times he talked about old people who feel useless. He never mentioned he personally felt useless but it seemed he might be thinking that way.
After two days together, our conversation turned to teenagers and how they often lack a sense of self-worth. I mentioned that many people, both young and old, struggle with self-esteem. So easily, we try to get it from either our possessions, our popularity, or our achievements. The downside of using those things to give us a sense of worth is that do not last. When they go, so does our self-esteem.
My dad totally agreed. After eight and a half decades, he knows first hand how quickly money and material goods come and go. At one time his Scottish heritage made him a thrifty person. Now he is not concerned if he spends his money because having it means much less than it once did.
We talked about the times I taught seminars on self-esteem. In them, I shared how it is possible to develop a solid sense of worth on something that can never fade or be taken away from us. In contrast, if money is the foundation for our value, we will never have enough. If we make popularity the thing to give us worth, then how many friends will we need to be satisfied? Further, no matter what anyone achieves, someone always comes along to out-do their achievement.
As we chatted, I said our worth is far more secure when it is based on Christ who does not change. By dying for our sins, He proved He loves us. Further, He died for us when we were still sinners, so He accepts us no matter what we have done. Knowing His perfect love is very important to a healthy self-worth.
Then I told my dad a true story about an old sweater.
A certain popular author had a pullover hanging in the back of his closet. It no longer fit him and was worn full of holes. He never wore it anymore. Logic told him he should throw it away. It was so shabby.
But his heart would not let him get rid of the sweater. Even though it was not useful, attractive, nor able to keep him warm, he considered it precious. He even loved it. The pullover was valuable in his sight because of who made it. Years ago, it was knit for him by his beloved mother.
I told my dad this is like the love of God. He cares for us regardless of our usefulness or beauty. Sometimes we forget that. Our logic says that when we are old and faded, worn and useless, there is nothing left for anyone to care about.
But the love of God is not based on those qualities or on who we are. His love is based on who He is and it does not change because He does not change. Hebrews 1 says, “In the beginning, O Lord, you laid the foundations of the earth, and the heavens are the work of your hands. They will perish, but you remain; they will all wear out like a garment. You will roll them up like a robe; like a garment they will be changed. But you remain the same, and your years will never end.”
The earth will perish, never mind the stuff that we collect or achieve, but the love of God is a constant thing. Those who rest in that love can be assured they are like an old sweater. God has no intention of cleaning out His closet because those He has made and redeemed are precious to Him.
The day I talked with dad, I also vacuumed his room. His closet door was open and I noticed hanging in the back were a few worn-out old pullovers and cardigans. Maybe that is why his eyes filled with tears when I reminded him he is loved just like an old sweater.
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