December 16, 1997
There is a lake in the Antarctica with water reading 80 degrees Fahrenheit. However, if anyone wanted to dive in and explore it, they would have to take with them a drill or a saw. Chilled by cold air above it, this lake is covered with ice.
George (not his real name) is like that. If there is a warm person on the inside, he keeps it well hidden under a self-protection layer of reserve. Others cannot get to know him or experience what he is like on the inside.
George might admit that he is afraid if others knew him well, they would not like him very much. He protects himself from rejection by what Christian counselor and psychologist Larry Crabb calls “layers.” Like the ice over the lake, these layers hide what is underneath. Crabb says it is almost always insecurity about acceptance, worth or competence.
Whether or not we use the term “layers,” most of us are aware of what we think are our flaws. We might use cosmetics to hide external marks and blemishes but there are no cover sticks for feelings of inferiority. Instead, we either withdraw or go overboard to prove ourselves.
Some people do it with their possessions. They buy the latest car or computer and show off by boasting about it. Others hide their inadequacy behind shyness, reasoning that if people do not notice them, they will not ask them to do anything and they will never betray their inabilities.
Others hide in alcohol or drugs, or become involved with one boy or girl friend after another. Some become powerful controllers who manipulate people so no one can see their weaknesses. Some retreat and become doormats. For them, being told what to do is easier than having people find out they are unable (or so they think) to make their own plans, never mind carry them out.
People who try to feel loved, valuable and competent through making demands on others or their own performance or possessions, always fall short. The main problem is that material things never last and people, even at their best, are unreliable.
For people made in His image, these three core needs can only be met by the triune God. He can make us feel complete. He says, “I have loved you with an everlasting love, and in loving kindness I have drawn you.” He always cares, and proved it by sending His Son to die for us. When others fail to love us, God’s love is reliable and unconditional. We do not earn it or deserve it but it is something in His nature. He is a God of love. That is what He does.
We can also measure our worth by the price that God was willing to pay for us. To Him, our value is the life of His Son. That is what He paid to redeem us. We are people of worth to God. We do not need to prove ourselves but entrust ourselves to His love and value system.
Competence comes also from God. He gives His Holy Spirit to each one who believes in Him and receives His Son as personal Savior and Lord. The Holy Spirit is a willing helper but we are not His robots. If we want to have His power and live using His competence, we must yield to Him. That yielding is immediately forfeited whenever we put up layers.
Instead, God tells us to deal with our inadequacies by dropping all self-protecting layers and acknowledging our insecurities to Him. Through Christ, we can know we are loved and have worth. Through His Spirit, we “can do all things.” We do not have to hide or prove anything.
In God’s care, we may at first feel vulnerable without our layers but as we learn to operate in His three-sided triangle of love, worth and competence, feeling weak gradually becomes something to appreciate. The Apostle Paul even said he could “boast gladly” about his inadequacies. He knew that God Himself promised His power is made perfect in our weaknesses and His grace is sufficient to set us free from all our fears.
Showing posts with label confidence in God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label confidence in God. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 19, 2017
Monday, November 21, 2016
Meekness is not weakness .......... Parables 513
June 4, 1996
The horse weighed at least a thousand pounds. What was she doing standing on my foot? That was not the worst of it. The week before, she ran under a tree and knocked my memory back two weeks. At times, training horses is painful and dangerous.
As a young person, I would ride anyone’s horse, including crazy animals like a chestnut thoroughbred that once belonged to a chuck wagon outrider. When I put my foot in the stirrup that gelding shut his eyes and ran. I also fondly remember a wild mare that was so stubborn that she raced to the end of her tether rope and flung herself on the ground until she was too tired to do it anymore. I rode her too.
Of course, that was years ago when I had more stamina and less sense, but I still dream about horses. Training them was a challenge. I worked hard so they submitted their strength to my control. That process helped me learn the meaning of an often misunderstood biblical word.
The word is “meek.” Most people think “wimpy”when they hear it because today it is used to describe doormats, Walter Mitty types, and anyone too weak to raise their hand or their voice in their own defense. Because of this limp, withdrawn attitude, the meek are always walked on.
However, according to the way the Bible uses “meek,” our modern definitions miss the value of meekness. For example, Scripture says spiritual giants like Moses were meek. It even says Jesus was meek. In fact, God promises that “the meek shall inherit the earth.” In other words, God considers meekness a virtue.
Scripture does not depict the meek as fearful, cowardly people. Instead, they are strong in faith because they understand God’s power and sovereignty. For them, God is always in charge and always able to do whatever He wants, whenever He wants. They also realize that resisting God is folly. He is far more powerful than anything we can do. He always wins, no matter the battle.
On the other hand, biblical meekness is not weakness either. Instead, it is like a wild stallion that has been tamed. The horse’s strength is in the fact that it is under control, not exercised in nonsensical behavior. Even the wildest horse, once tamed, becomes an asset to its owner.
When it comes to people, God’s way of controlling our negative strength is not a self-control such as holding back when you feel like hitting someone. Instead, it is the control that accompanies knowing the power of God. He makes the use of negative aggression or even positive assertion unnecessary. Why fight anything when God is more powerful? Why assert our wants, wishes or “rights” when He is on our side and willing to do it for us?
The meek do not resist God or the circumstances of their lives either. They know He controls what happens to them and that makes it easier to submit their lives to Him as well. He will either explain, change, or make sense of all of it and in the meantime, the Spirit can produce its fruit: “love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance.”
If meekness were a whipped, beaten puppy that cowers in a corner, God would not recommend it. Instead, meekness is a graceful, prancing, parade-leading pony, moving forward under the direction of its rider. Meekness is not afraid because it trusts the Master. Meekness is not cowardly because it knows Who is on its side.
The horse weighed at least a thousand pounds. What was she doing standing on my foot? That was not the worst of it. The week before, she ran under a tree and knocked my memory back two weeks. At times, training horses is painful and dangerous.
As a young person, I would ride anyone’s horse, including crazy animals like a chestnut thoroughbred that once belonged to a chuck wagon outrider. When I put my foot in the stirrup that gelding shut his eyes and ran. I also fondly remember a wild mare that was so stubborn that she raced to the end of her tether rope and flung herself on the ground until she was too tired to do it anymore. I rode her too.
Of course, that was years ago when I had more stamina and less sense, but I still dream about horses. Training them was a challenge. I worked hard so they submitted their strength to my control. That process helped me learn the meaning of an often misunderstood biblical word.
The word is “meek.” Most people think “wimpy”when they hear it because today it is used to describe doormats, Walter Mitty types, and anyone too weak to raise their hand or their voice in their own defense. Because of this limp, withdrawn attitude, the meek are always walked on.
However, according to the way the Bible uses “meek,” our modern definitions miss the value of meekness. For example, Scripture says spiritual giants like Moses were meek. It even says Jesus was meek. In fact, God promises that “the meek shall inherit the earth.” In other words, God considers meekness a virtue.
Scripture does not depict the meek as fearful, cowardly people. Instead, they are strong in faith because they understand God’s power and sovereignty. For them, God is always in charge and always able to do whatever He wants, whenever He wants. They also realize that resisting God is folly. He is far more powerful than anything we can do. He always wins, no matter the battle.
On the other hand, biblical meekness is not weakness either. Instead, it is like a wild stallion that has been tamed. The horse’s strength is in the fact that it is under control, not exercised in nonsensical behavior. Even the wildest horse, once tamed, becomes an asset to its owner.
When it comes to people, God’s way of controlling our negative strength is not a self-control such as holding back when you feel like hitting someone. Instead, it is the control that accompanies knowing the power of God. He makes the use of negative aggression or even positive assertion unnecessary. Why fight anything when God is more powerful? Why assert our wants, wishes or “rights” when He is on our side and willing to do it for us?
The meek do not resist God or the circumstances of their lives either. They know He controls what happens to them and that makes it easier to submit their lives to Him as well. He will either explain, change, or make sense of all of it and in the meantime, the Spirit can produce its fruit: “love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance.”
If meekness were a whipped, beaten puppy that cowers in a corner, God would not recommend it. Instead, meekness is a graceful, prancing, parade-leading pony, moving forward under the direction of its rider. Meekness is not afraid because it trusts the Master. Meekness is not cowardly because it knows Who is on its side.
Friday, January 29, 2016
The Value of Money? ............. Parables 386
September 7, 1993
Cicero said, “There is no fortress so strong that money cannot take it.” Joe E. Lewis figured that money is so powerful that “the only thing it cannot buy is poverty.”
Both men put money and power on the same pedestal and many of us do the same thing. Who has not said or at least thought, “If I had enough money I could do what I want”?
Neither money or power is good or evil; what we do with them makes the distinction. Immense fortunes administered by influential people have benefitted thousands of needy people. Immense fortunes administered by powerful criminals have harmed thousands more. The difference is in priority: the criminal uses people for personal gain, whereas the philanthropist uses gain for people.
Even those who are not Christians recognize one major principle in Christianity is love. Love rules out using people for personal gain. For this reason, the Bible tells Christians to avoid having a love for power, or for money.
Jesus warned, “The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those who exercise authority over them call themselves Benefactors. But you are not to be like that. Instead, the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves” (Luke 22). Love does not allow power trips.
As for loving money, Paul said, “Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs” (1 Timothy 3:3). Money allures people away from loving others and away from their faith.
For that reason, an inordinate desire for both power and money is an dangerous combination. Behind such desire is fear, the opposite of faith. The writer of Hebrews put it this way: “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’ So we say with confidence, ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?’”
According to this, the antidote to misdirected love is not only contentment with what we have, but also a confidence that God is our helper. He controls what other people do and we do not have to fear poverty, lack of power, or other people.
On one hand, those with money do seem to have power. Anyone who is afraid of people could easily assume money will take care of that problem. The more money they have, the more in control they think they are.
However, faith and love do far more to banish fear than money or power. We cannot be afraid of people we love, nor fear anything when we really trust God. In fact, true power is having the confidence that God is our helper. He is sovereign, in full control of our circumstances and “works all things together for our good.” What or who can harm those who God promised to protect?
Money, as powerful as it is, also runs up against a dead end when it comes to resolving conflicts, rebuilding broken relationships, or causing ruined lives to change. In contrast, love and faith are potent forces for change. People who live by that combination also possess a powerful ability to influence and bless people, an ability that does not have to be connected to their bank balance.
Cicero said, “There is no fortress so strong that money cannot take it.” Joe E. Lewis figured that money is so powerful that “the only thing it cannot buy is poverty.”
Both men put money and power on the same pedestal and many of us do the same thing. Who has not said or at least thought, “If I had enough money I could do what I want”?
Neither money or power is good or evil; what we do with them makes the distinction. Immense fortunes administered by influential people have benefitted thousands of needy people. Immense fortunes administered by powerful criminals have harmed thousands more. The difference is in priority: the criminal uses people for personal gain, whereas the philanthropist uses gain for people.
Even those who are not Christians recognize one major principle in Christianity is love. Love rules out using people for personal gain. For this reason, the Bible tells Christians to avoid having a love for power, or for money.
Jesus warned, “The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those who exercise authority over them call themselves Benefactors. But you are not to be like that. Instead, the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves” (Luke 22). Love does not allow power trips.
As for loving money, Paul said, “Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs” (1 Timothy 3:3). Money allures people away from loving others and away from their faith.
For that reason, an inordinate desire for both power and money is an dangerous combination. Behind such desire is fear, the opposite of faith. The writer of Hebrews put it this way: “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’ So we say with confidence, ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?’”
According to this, the antidote to misdirected love is not only contentment with what we have, but also a confidence that God is our helper. He controls what other people do and we do not have to fear poverty, lack of power, or other people.
On one hand, those with money do seem to have power. Anyone who is afraid of people could easily assume money will take care of that problem. The more money they have, the more in control they think they are.
However, faith and love do far more to banish fear than money or power. We cannot be afraid of people we love, nor fear anything when we really trust God. In fact, true power is having the confidence that God is our helper. He is sovereign, in full control of our circumstances and “works all things together for our good.” What or who can harm those who God promised to protect?
Money, as powerful as it is, also runs up against a dead end when it comes to resolving conflicts, rebuilding broken relationships, or causing ruined lives to change. In contrast, love and faith are potent forces for change. People who live by that combination also possess a powerful ability to influence and bless people, an ability that does not have to be connected to their bank balance.
Wednesday, August 19, 2015
Overcoming Phobias ................ Parables 315
April 28, 1992
Contrary to the claims of the Tough and Determined, everyone has fears. They may be unusual, such as thalassophobia: fear of the sea; climacophobia: fear of stairs; optophobia: fear of closing one’s eyes; or logizomechanophobia: fear of computers!
Others fears are more common, such as claustrophobia: fear of being locked in; achluphobia: fear of the dark; and androphobia: fear of man. Closely related to the last one is the number one fear in North America: fear of public speaking (which also has several long names ending in phobia).
At the root of being afraid to speak in public is a fear of what people will think if I make a mistake. Will they reject me? Laugh at me? Talk about me in a demeaning way behind my back? We are afraid of people but when called upon to get up and talk before a crowd our concerns center more on getting rid of sweaty palms, dry mouth, and a stomach full of butterflies.
Experienced speakers say that no matter how many times they speak, there are always some symptoms of anxiety. However, progress can be made. As a speaker learns to concentrate less on himself and more on the audience, those jitters are markedly decreased. Since kings fit into the category of experienced lecturers, peeking into a king’s journal might give further insight into dealing with this major fear of public speaking.
The shepherd-king of Israel had reason to fear man — both before and after taking the throne. Saul, the former king was constantly trying to kill him. Leaders of other nations threatened his kingdom. His own son betrayed him and tried to take his God-given position of leadership. When David wrote in his journal (the Psalms), he did not have public speaking in mind but the fear of man occupied his emotions. Dealing with it is getting at the root of the other fear.
As we might expect, David hoped in God for his confidence. He said: “The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? When the wicked, even my enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell. Though a host should camp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident... (note where he places his confidence) ...for in the time of trouble (the LORD) shall hide me... in the secret of His tabernacle; He shall set me up upon a rock.”
David knew that no matter what his enemies tried to do to him, God was in control. Furthermore, even if the worst should happen, his hope was in the fact that he could retreat into the safety of his relationship with God. God loved him. God accepted him. God never, ever ridiculed him. In that Rock he could find stability for fearful emotions and security against all threats.
To have that kind of confidence, David (and you and I) need an intimate relationship with God. It will not do to merely know in our heads that He is sovereign and that He loves and accepts us. These truths have to be deeply ingrained into our hearts to the point that when dangers, darkness, public speaking, or other experiences threaten, terror will not fill our minds and tense our muscles. Instead, we will immediately think of God and trust Him.
Fear’s causes, whether spiders, trains, travel or burglars, are never as awesome or as powerful as God. He controls all that comes at us and even though some of it will test us (to see where we really place our confidence), it borders on idolatry to let anything we fear control our lives — instead of Him.
Contrary to the claims of the Tough and Determined, everyone has fears. They may be unusual, such as thalassophobia: fear of the sea; climacophobia: fear of stairs; optophobia: fear of closing one’s eyes; or logizomechanophobia: fear of computers!
Others fears are more common, such as claustrophobia: fear of being locked in; achluphobia: fear of the dark; and androphobia: fear of man. Closely related to the last one is the number one fear in North America: fear of public speaking (which also has several long names ending in phobia).
At the root of being afraid to speak in public is a fear of what people will think if I make a mistake. Will they reject me? Laugh at me? Talk about me in a demeaning way behind my back? We are afraid of people but when called upon to get up and talk before a crowd our concerns center more on getting rid of sweaty palms, dry mouth, and a stomach full of butterflies.
Experienced speakers say that no matter how many times they speak, there are always some symptoms of anxiety. However, progress can be made. As a speaker learns to concentrate less on himself and more on the audience, those jitters are markedly decreased. Since kings fit into the category of experienced lecturers, peeking into a king’s journal might give further insight into dealing with this major fear of public speaking.
The shepherd-king of Israel had reason to fear man — both before and after taking the throne. Saul, the former king was constantly trying to kill him. Leaders of other nations threatened his kingdom. His own son betrayed him and tried to take his God-given position of leadership. When David wrote in his journal (the Psalms), he did not have public speaking in mind but the fear of man occupied his emotions. Dealing with it is getting at the root of the other fear.
As we might expect, David hoped in God for his confidence. He said: “The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? When the wicked, even my enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell. Though a host should camp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident... (note where he places his confidence) ...for in the time of trouble (the LORD) shall hide me... in the secret of His tabernacle; He shall set me up upon a rock.”
David knew that no matter what his enemies tried to do to him, God was in control. Furthermore, even if the worst should happen, his hope was in the fact that he could retreat into the safety of his relationship with God. God loved him. God accepted him. God never, ever ridiculed him. In that Rock he could find stability for fearful emotions and security against all threats.
To have that kind of confidence, David (and you and I) need an intimate relationship with God. It will not do to merely know in our heads that He is sovereign and that He loves and accepts us. These truths have to be deeply ingrained into our hearts to the point that when dangers, darkness, public speaking, or other experiences threaten, terror will not fill our minds and tense our muscles. Instead, we will immediately think of God and trust Him.
Fear’s causes, whether spiders, trains, travel or burglars, are never as awesome or as powerful as God. He controls all that comes at us and even though some of it will test us (to see where we really place our confidence), it borders on idolatry to let anything we fear control our lives — instead of Him.
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