It’s okay to be sad .............. Parables 283

September 4, 1991

The American constitution and even television commercials declare we have the “right” to be happy. In fact, the pursuit of happiness occupies a major portion of the typical North American’s life, so much so that when someone is sad, someone else usually insists they “Cheer up.”

Imagine the reaction if a sad person responded to encouragement with: “NO! I have every right to be sad. In fact, being sad is good for me...” Would we put him in a strait jacket?

The truth is, some sorrow has a valuable place in our lives. There is “a time to weep and a time to laugh... (Ecclesiastes 3:4) and sorrow is sometimes appropriate. The Bible says to “... mourn with those who mourn (Romans 12:15) and Jesus Himself even experienced that kind of sorrow. Certainly anyone who jokes and laughs at a funeral is out of place.

Beyond being an expression of human grief, the Bible says sorrow has spiritual value: “Sorrow is better than laughter, because by it the heart is made better” (Ecclesiastes 7:3). This means a kind of sorrow that feels grief over sin, and thus our attitude toward sinning is changed.

Jesus referred to this heart-changing sorrow when He said, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” The Bible explains this “mourning” as a sadness for one’s own sin: “Now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended... Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: ...earnestness, ...eagerness to clear yourselves, ...indignation, ...alarm, ...longing, ...concern, ...readiness to see justice done...” (2 Corinthians 7).

Again, this kind of sorrow is the grief some people feel when they have sinned against God. It is so important to God that He says if we don’t feel that way about our sin, we should make an effort to do so: “Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom...” (James 4:9).

One reason this kind of sorrow is so important is that grief over sin is the only way to ultimate joy. When Jesus said that mourners will be comforted, He was not talking about ordinary grief over a death in the family (Many who grieve are not comforted) but preaching a sermon about the characteristics of those who will be children of God. He said they will be “poor in spirit,” not having what it takes to please God, mourning over their sin, submissive to Him, and having a hunger and thirst for a godly righteousness which they realize they do not have (Matthew 5,6,7). The Greek word Jesus used for “mourn” signifies the greatest grief imaginable, an utter sense of loss and sorrow because the mourner has realized his utter bankruptcy. He cannot please God... but it is that person who will be comforted, by forgiveness now and a heavenly reward eventually.

What if a person rejects that kind of sorrow? What if they insist they are okay; sin is not an issue to get dejected about; they have a right to be happy and life is here and now only, a party to be lived?

First, nothing happens to their heart. It stays in the same condition as described by Jeremiah: “deceitful and desperately wicked.” Secondly, they never receive the comfort of forgiveness. They will be separated forever from the love God offered through the sacrifice of His Son. Thirdly, a heavenly reward is out of the question. Eternal condemnation is the only other option.

So the next time someone says “Cheer up,” try this: “No, my sorrow is helping me to think about the way I live, change my ways and stop doing all the things that are not good for me...!”

I stand corrected ............................. Parables 061

Have you ever discovered that something you thought was right, for maybe most of your life, was in fact wrong?

Last week a friend asked me to do some of his business correspondence with our commuter and printer. After all 45 letters were completed and delivered, he called to tell me that I had to do them over - because I spelled “privilege” wrong. My first response was to grab a dictionary, where I found that “privil-a-ge” was not an alternate spelling.

Worse yet, I have spelled it with an “a” for as long as I can remember. I know, because typing it just now, with an “e”, was very awkward. Since dictionary-reading is not my habit, who knows how long it might have gone undetected had not my friend pointed it out to me.

Mis-spelling a word is not usually fatal. What bothers me is assuming that I was right, for such a long time, and not even giving a thought to whether I really was or not. (There is a verse in Proverbs that says, “There is a way that seems right to a man, but the end of it is the way of death...”) How many other things do I do wrong, more important things, and yet I do not realize it?

Just as the dictionary is our standard for spelling, Jesus Christ is God’s standard for Christian living. Christlikeness is the target that God has for my life, and He works to change me into that likeness. But, sometimes other standards seem right, and I take off in the opposite direction, without even realizing it. Without His “divine dictionary”, I have learned that it doesn’t take much to spell my life wrong.

His standard is revealed in His Word. That Book is “quick and powerful like a two-edged sword, penetrating soul and spirit, able to judge thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” It is also “useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” (Heb.4:12, 2 Tim.3:16,17)

Although it shows the right way, and fills my heart with comfort and the joy of knowing the Lord’s cleansing and forgiveness, reading His sword is painful at times. It stabs false thinking, cuts into ungodly speaking, and slashes at selfish behavior. But living is a one-time shot. I can’t run my mistakes back through a commuter, make corrections, and get a reprint. It is far better to suffer the stinging rebuke and correction of God than to find out, too late, that my life was all wrong, even if it seemed right to me. I thank God that spelling error was brought to my attention.

Conforming to the dictionary standard was a good reminder that He expects and encourages high standards in all of my life, and He expects me to use His dictionary to reveal the areas where change is needed. I am also thankful that He provides, through His Word, and through the indwelling presence of His Son, whatever is needed to be all that He desires me to be.