June 6, 2000
Ramona (not her real name) started drinking as a young adult. She wanted to be an important person and thought she was not. This plus other challenges overwhelmed her. Alcohol provided an escape — for a little while.
She married late. Her husband was not the easiest man to live with and she felt it was her fault. Her drinking continued. They had two children who were her constant delight, but as they grew, being a wife and mother became less fulfilling. She wanted to be more important, to be wealthy and included in an upper income social group. She tried to buy her way up but her expensive taste and extravagant spending put a strain on the family budget and her marriage. Both fell apart.
Ramona was forced to find a part time job. It was barely adequate. Her increasing need to belong and to impress people demanded more money. Finally, she figured out a way to “borrow” it from her employer. She was caught, prosecuted, and convicted. Most people think that the Bible says money is the root of all evil, but the actual quote is: “The love of money is a root of all kinds of evil.” In Ramona’s case, that love destroyed her health, and her marriage and family.
Also, that love of money had a root of its own. Ramona needed to feel accepted and significant. She mistakenly thought both these needs could be satisfied by other people and when they were not, the second mistake was trying to use money to gain the recognition she craved.
Money is not the only thing we latch on to as the answer to these two human needs. Some think being attractive will do it. Leaf through any women’s magazine and look at the advertising. Nearly all of it appeals to a desire to be beautiful. That should make us more important.
Another ticket to acceptance and significance is achievement. It will buy applause, awards, a raise in pay, an increase in status, even a page in Who’s Who. This works at least for some people. But then we hear stories from athletes or the wealthy telling how their fame and fortune brings only fleeting blessings.
Despite the stories, Ramona felt money would fix her problem. Others would say all they need is a better body, a higher score, a more prestigious job, something more or better — and that would be enough to make to give them that sense of acceptance and significance they are looking for; however, God says not. He says, “There is a way that seems right to a man, but the end thereof is the way of death.”
What looks like it will work is not what will work. Not everyone will wind up in jail like Ramona, but pursuing money, beauty, fame, or any temporary status can only provide a temporary sense of significance. Wouldn’t we rather have something permanent?
Jesus said, “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you.” While He was talking about food and clothing, the principle applies to far more. God is eager to give us all we need. We block Him from doing it by our futile search to find it everywhere else but in Him. Only God loved us “while we were still sinners” and only God gave us significance by sending His Son to die in our place. We do not have to work for, or do anything, to gain that kind of divine acceptance and status. Both come from His love and from the price tag He placed on our lives.
Whatever might happen to our finances, fame or face, how God feels about us and what He has done for us will never change. It is in Christ that we can find that lasting sense of being loved and valued. He invites us to turn away from the folly of seeking it elsewhere and know the freedom of finding it in Him.
Showing posts with label acceptance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label acceptance. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 29, 2017
Wednesday, July 5, 2017
Layers like an onion? .......... Parables 610
September 22, 1998
Health food advocates and most vitamin companies say artificial is not as good as natural. What about food? Artificial grapes often look better than real fruit, but no one eats plastic food. Silk flowers need little care but no one plants them in their garden. Astro-turf never needs mowing but few people put it on their front yard. What about sports or jewels? Links on the computer is fun but my muscles get a better workout on a real golf course. Costume jewelry is nice but cannot beat real pearls and diamonds. We want the “real thing,” whether it is jewelry, a game, flowers, grass or food.
Most of us like real people too. ‘Artificial’ could mean wax museum dummies, but we usually use that term for folks who, for one reason or another, have difficulty being themselves. They are aloof, closed, hard to get to know.
Related to that, Christian psychologist Larry Crabbe says we are like onions. We cover our real selves with layers because we are afraid others will reject us if they see what we are really like. We protecting our inner selves because we sense that peeling off our layers could bring tears.
As an example of a layer, Crabbe uses shyness. He says under this external behavior is a person who is afraid that self-expression will bring rejection or ridicule. For them, being shy is a better quality than being wrong or thought silly, so they covers their fears with shyness.
Most of us do not admit or even realize we use layers as protection for our self-esteem. For me, it is boasting or over-involving myself in something that I am good at — to draw attention to my good points. If those layers do not work, I might try retreating, or talking about someone else as a cover, anything to keep people from noticing my shortcomings.
Sometimes we are not as inadequate as we suppose. Besides, people as more accepting than we think they will be. However, there are occasions when we really are inadequate or have done something foolish or wrong. It is far more difficult to admit it than to hide under excuses, blame-shifting, or a lifestyle that belies our burdened conscience.
Whether from real guilt or imagined inadequacy, these layers can become very thick. When that happens to me, I notice my ability to relate to others drops to superficiality. At that point, I need God more than ever; He is an onion-peeling expert.
For one thing, the Lord accepts me just as I am without putting me into competition or rating systems. He says, “While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Other people might ignore, dislike or even hate us for our flaws, but God is always ready to accept us because He loves us. The Bible says, “He loves us with an everlasting love.”
God proved His love by the price He paid for us, the life of His Son. No matter what we are like on the inside or on the surface, His great love can fill our need for love and acceptance.
He also takes care of our fears and inadequacies. We worry about all sorts of things and cannot live up to our own expectations, never mind meet the demands of others, but God, true to His nature, provides strength and every resource we need. In Christ, we are not only loved and accepted but equipped and made capable.
This is the secret of onion peeling. God comes into the hearts of those who trust Him. As He meets our deepest inner needs, the layers begin coming off. We find ourselves less and less concerned about what people think of us and instead deeply care about them.
If we have layers and want to be ourselves, we can trust God to help us. When we become what He intended — people without fear, open and layer-free — we are more like genuine jewels and less like onions.
Health food advocates and most vitamin companies say artificial is not as good as natural. What about food? Artificial grapes often look better than real fruit, but no one eats plastic food. Silk flowers need little care but no one plants them in their garden. Astro-turf never needs mowing but few people put it on their front yard. What about sports or jewels? Links on the computer is fun but my muscles get a better workout on a real golf course. Costume jewelry is nice but cannot beat real pearls and diamonds. We want the “real thing,” whether it is jewelry, a game, flowers, grass or food.
Most of us like real people too. ‘Artificial’ could mean wax museum dummies, but we usually use that term for folks who, for one reason or another, have difficulty being themselves. They are aloof, closed, hard to get to know.
Related to that, Christian psychologist Larry Crabbe says we are like onions. We cover our real selves with layers because we are afraid others will reject us if they see what we are really like. We protecting our inner selves because we sense that peeling off our layers could bring tears.
As an example of a layer, Crabbe uses shyness. He says under this external behavior is a person who is afraid that self-expression will bring rejection or ridicule. For them, being shy is a better quality than being wrong or thought silly, so they covers their fears with shyness.
Most of us do not admit or even realize we use layers as protection for our self-esteem. For me, it is boasting or over-involving myself in something that I am good at — to draw attention to my good points. If those layers do not work, I might try retreating, or talking about someone else as a cover, anything to keep people from noticing my shortcomings.
Sometimes we are not as inadequate as we suppose. Besides, people as more accepting than we think they will be. However, there are occasions when we really are inadequate or have done something foolish or wrong. It is far more difficult to admit it than to hide under excuses, blame-shifting, or a lifestyle that belies our burdened conscience.
Whether from real guilt or imagined inadequacy, these layers can become very thick. When that happens to me, I notice my ability to relate to others drops to superficiality. At that point, I need God more than ever; He is an onion-peeling expert.
For one thing, the Lord accepts me just as I am without putting me into competition or rating systems. He says, “While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Other people might ignore, dislike or even hate us for our flaws, but God is always ready to accept us because He loves us. The Bible says, “He loves us with an everlasting love.”
God proved His love by the price He paid for us, the life of His Son. No matter what we are like on the inside or on the surface, His great love can fill our need for love and acceptance.
He also takes care of our fears and inadequacies. We worry about all sorts of things and cannot live up to our own expectations, never mind meet the demands of others, but God, true to His nature, provides strength and every resource we need. In Christ, we are not only loved and accepted but equipped and made capable.
This is the secret of onion peeling. God comes into the hearts of those who trust Him. As He meets our deepest inner needs, the layers begin coming off. We find ourselves less and less concerned about what people think of us and instead deeply care about them.
If we have layers and want to be ourselves, we can trust God to help us. When we become what He intended — people without fear, open and layer-free — we are more like genuine jewels and less like onions.
Monday, October 12, 2015
Security assured ................ Parables 338
October 6, 1992
“When I was a young boy, my dad gave me a silver dollar. He told me to keep it because if I did, I would never be broke.”
Smart dad. While the value of a dollar has diminished, the fact of having something in one’s pocket during tough times is comforting. There is a story about an orphanage where each child was given a crust of bread at night. None of them ate the crust though. Instead, it went under their pillow where it gave them a sense of security against hunger for the next day.
These small things illustrates how God’s present blessings are tokens of assurance for the future. His spiritual versions of “a silver dollar” ensure we will never be spiritual impoverished. His spiritual “crusts of bread” are deposits to give us assurance about a great coming feast we will share with Him someday in heaven.
While not every promise in the Bible is guaranteed in the life of every believer all the time, here are some universal “tokens” in the Christian experience.
PEACE WITH GOD: Jesus Christ secured our forgiveness to the extent that those who believe in Him for eternal life are “no longer condemned.” While this is a reality that is not visible, it is made real by faith since faith is “the evidence of things not seen.” This peace is a token of what one aspect of eternity will be like — a great and deep peace with our Creator and Judge.
PRESENCE OF GOD: God does not promise that life here will be always rosy and trouble-free, but He does promise to be with those who truth Christ. Even though we sometimes fail to sense His presence, our feelings do not change the reality. When we do sense Him near, we often yearn for the fullness of seeing Him someday face to face. This is a wonderful token of a future blessing.
INDWELLING OF HIS SPIRIT: The presence of God is related to the Third Person in the Godhead, the Holy Spirit who lives within Christians. He enables us to “partake in His divine nature” so we have all that is needed to believe and obey Him. This is so important that the Bible says, “Now if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he is not His” (Romans 8:9).
In Ephesians, the Holy Spirit is also called “the guarantee of our inheritance” until the redemption of our bodies. He has saved us and given us Himself as a “deposit” or down payment which is assurance that the full transaction will be made later on. In the meantime, we are able to enjoy the ministry of the Spirit as He teaches, comforts, assures, enables, and equips us to serve God.
ACCESS TO THE THRONE OF GOD: Jesus, as the High Priest who intercedes for us, also opens our access to God. Sinful creatures cannot approach the Holy One but His blood covers our sin and we can “therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:16). While God has the wisdom and prerogative to deny our selfish and foolish requests, He still hears what we say and considers our needs. He knows whether we need money, more food, a new job, a friend, to get married, to stay single, or good weather. Every thing that we pray about is heard, evaluated, and answered according to His will and His wisdom — because He loves us and is attentive to us.
EVERLASTING LOVE: No one is able to consistently meet the love-needs of another person, no one except God. His love is unconditional and eternal. He has demonstrated it in sending Christ to die for us.
Paul exclaims, “What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?” These are the tokens — imagine the yet-to-come heavenly inheritance!
“When I was a young boy, my dad gave me a silver dollar. He told me to keep it because if I did, I would never be broke.”
Smart dad. While the value of a dollar has diminished, the fact of having something in one’s pocket during tough times is comforting. There is a story about an orphanage where each child was given a crust of bread at night. None of them ate the crust though. Instead, it went under their pillow where it gave them a sense of security against hunger for the next day.
These small things illustrates how God’s present blessings are tokens of assurance for the future. His spiritual versions of “a silver dollar” ensure we will never be spiritual impoverished. His spiritual “crusts of bread” are deposits to give us assurance about a great coming feast we will share with Him someday in heaven.
While not every promise in the Bible is guaranteed in the life of every believer all the time, here are some universal “tokens” in the Christian experience.
PEACE WITH GOD: Jesus Christ secured our forgiveness to the extent that those who believe in Him for eternal life are “no longer condemned.” While this is a reality that is not visible, it is made real by faith since faith is “the evidence of things not seen.” This peace is a token of what one aspect of eternity will be like — a great and deep peace with our Creator and Judge.
PRESENCE OF GOD: God does not promise that life here will be always rosy and trouble-free, but He does promise to be with those who truth Christ. Even though we sometimes fail to sense His presence, our feelings do not change the reality. When we do sense Him near, we often yearn for the fullness of seeing Him someday face to face. This is a wonderful token of a future blessing.
INDWELLING OF HIS SPIRIT: The presence of God is related to the Third Person in the Godhead, the Holy Spirit who lives within Christians. He enables us to “partake in His divine nature” so we have all that is needed to believe and obey Him. This is so important that the Bible says, “Now if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he is not His” (Romans 8:9).
In Ephesians, the Holy Spirit is also called “the guarantee of our inheritance” until the redemption of our bodies. He has saved us and given us Himself as a “deposit” or down payment which is assurance that the full transaction will be made later on. In the meantime, we are able to enjoy the ministry of the Spirit as He teaches, comforts, assures, enables, and equips us to serve God.
ACCESS TO THE THRONE OF GOD: Jesus, as the High Priest who intercedes for us, also opens our access to God. Sinful creatures cannot approach the Holy One but His blood covers our sin and we can “therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:16). While God has the wisdom and prerogative to deny our selfish and foolish requests, He still hears what we say and considers our needs. He knows whether we need money, more food, a new job, a friend, to get married, to stay single, or good weather. Every thing that we pray about is heard, evaluated, and answered according to His will and His wisdom — because He loves us and is attentive to us.
EVERLASTING LOVE: No one is able to consistently meet the love-needs of another person, no one except God. His love is unconditional and eternal. He has demonstrated it in sending Christ to die for us.
Paul exclaims, “What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?” These are the tokens — imagine the yet-to-come heavenly inheritance!
Friday, February 14, 2014
Rejected? ........................... Parables 080
“Nobody’s Child” is a movie portraying the life of a woman who was admitted to a mental institution at 16 and spent most of the following 20 years there.
Her illness? Childhood rejection. Even remote reminders of her past caused her extreme anxiety. Sometimes she became violent in her fear. One incident sent her into two years of silent withdrawal.
Finally, one doctor recognized the emotional need of this woman and began to express loving concern for her as a individual. She encouraged her to turn from her fears and develop some life skills. “Nobody’s Child” responded to that love and eventually moved into her own apartment, earned a college degree, and reached the potential that her doctor saw in her. It was a very dramatic true story.
Of course, not everyone who suffers becomes movie material. Sometimes there is no one that cares about their needs. Sometimes they fail to respond to anyone who does try to help. Whatever the reasons, all stories do no have a happy ending.
But everyone understands rejection. Whether a person is a “different” child in school, abandoned by someone they hoped would love them, or just turned away when there was a desire to participate - rejection hurts.
The Psalmist knew about rejection too. He says “When my father and mother forsake me...” Yet he found there is One who never turns anyone away. “...then the Lord will take me up” (Psalm 27:10).
The Lord Himself offers love. Even if there is no one to pick up the pieces, such as the doctor in the movie, God is always there. His love goes far beyond that of the most caring person. In fact, The Lord’s love never gives up.
He says, “Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving kindness” (Jeremiah 31:3). He said this to a nation who resisted Him, who fell into idolatry, and turned their back on Him. But in His love, He continued to draw them, wanting to restore them to a love-relationship with Himself.
His love extends beyond those ancient nations to us. Even though all mankind has “sinned and fallen short of the glory of God”, “God has demonstrated His love toward us...” He knows we can not and will not seek restoration so He made the first move and “...while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).
Our sin is an affront to His holiness and separates us from Him, but His Son was willing to pay the full penalty for our sin. The cross is God’s message that says, “There... I love you.”
We need to recognize that our “illness” is sin. We cannot cure it ourselves, or even demand a cure. We do not deserve it. The mercy and grace of God, through the sacrifice of His Son, provides forgiveness and cleansing, the cure we need.
God will not accept into His presence people who are defiled and unholy, so we also need righteousness. This we do not have but because of God’s love, that is also provided in Christ.
Just as the woman in the movie could not make herself well and then go to the doctor, we cannot make our lives acceptable and then go to the Savior. He saves, we do not. And when He does, we are forgiven and transformed, given grace to become all we can be, with hope for a “happy ever after” when this life is over.
Her illness? Childhood rejection. Even remote reminders of her past caused her extreme anxiety. Sometimes she became violent in her fear. One incident sent her into two years of silent withdrawal.
Finally, one doctor recognized the emotional need of this woman and began to express loving concern for her as a individual. She encouraged her to turn from her fears and develop some life skills. “Nobody’s Child” responded to that love and eventually moved into her own apartment, earned a college degree, and reached the potential that her doctor saw in her. It was a very dramatic true story.
Of course, not everyone who suffers becomes movie material. Sometimes there is no one that cares about their needs. Sometimes they fail to respond to anyone who does try to help. Whatever the reasons, all stories do no have a happy ending.
But everyone understands rejection. Whether a person is a “different” child in school, abandoned by someone they hoped would love them, or just turned away when there was a desire to participate - rejection hurts.
The Psalmist knew about rejection too. He says “When my father and mother forsake me...” Yet he found there is One who never turns anyone away. “...then the Lord will take me up” (Psalm 27:10).
The Lord Himself offers love. Even if there is no one to pick up the pieces, such as the doctor in the movie, God is always there. His love goes far beyond that of the most caring person. In fact, The Lord’s love never gives up.
He says, “Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving kindness” (Jeremiah 31:3). He said this to a nation who resisted Him, who fell into idolatry, and turned their back on Him. But in His love, He continued to draw them, wanting to restore them to a love-relationship with Himself.
His love extends beyond those ancient nations to us. Even though all mankind has “sinned and fallen short of the glory of God”, “God has demonstrated His love toward us...” He knows we can not and will not seek restoration so He made the first move and “...while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).
Our sin is an affront to His holiness and separates us from Him, but His Son was willing to pay the full penalty for our sin. The cross is God’s message that says, “There... I love you.”
We need to recognize that our “illness” is sin. We cannot cure it ourselves, or even demand a cure. We do not deserve it. The mercy and grace of God, through the sacrifice of His Son, provides forgiveness and cleansing, the cure we need.
God will not accept into His presence people who are defiled and unholy, so we also need righteousness. This we do not have but because of God’s love, that is also provided in Christ.
Just as the woman in the movie could not make herself well and then go to the doctor, we cannot make our lives acceptable and then go to the Savior. He saves, we do not. And when He does, we are forgiven and transformed, given grace to become all we can be, with hope for a “happy ever after” when this life is over.
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