Understanding and being understood ............. Parables 770

December 18, 2002

A couple years ago at a writer’s conference I met a man whose speech was difficult to understand. English was not his first language. His accent added to my difficulty. To make things worse, when I told him I could not understand him, he repeated it — but exactly the same way he said it the first time. Then he smiled and nodded as if it was clearer to him. However, he seemed unaware that I could not grasp even the gist of what he said.

At one time, I thought “understanding and being understood” were universal needs. This man upset my convictions, yet this remains a firm need in my life. Even more important is that others understand what I am saying to them.

A child’s curiosity is based on this desire to understand. Our grandson often takes things apart just to figure out how they work. Even though he was reprimanded for constantly fiddling with radios or other technical appliances, at eighteen his curiosity remains strong.

Children also want to be understood. At two, our son knew “lellow” and “blana” were not quite right, so he practiced until they came out “yellow banana.”

Conversations like the one with that man at the conference are frustrating. One side thinks their speech is clear, but the listener is not hearing them clearly. Dare we be polite and pretend we understood?

A friend died but before she did, her daughter told the doctor her mother was a Christian and “ready to die.” The doctor understood her words, but not what she intended. He watched the mother put up a good fight to live. He didn’t believe she was ready at all to die.

The problem was not an issue of readiness, but of understanding and being understood. Christians who are ready to die have made peace with God. They know their sin is forgiven. They also have assurance of eternal life through their faith in Christ. Death is not a fearful thing. However, being ready to die does not mean that we hate life. After all, the Bible calls death an enemy. While Jesus conquered it (and we will too), being ready is not the same as simply giving up when death comes calling.

In thinking about the desire to understand and be understood, I’d have to say God perfectly models both. The Bible reveals how He understands us: “Oh Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar . . . You are familiar with all my ways . . . such knowledge is too wonderful for me.” David, who wrote this psalm, worshiped God for His great understanding. He was not afraid of being known like this; it satisfied this deep desire to be understood.

David also sought to know and understand God, but the Bible says such a desire is not natural: “There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God.” The Bible explains this lack of desire to know God. It says each of us “turn to our own way.” We are quite happy to know our own minds, desires, and attitudes. We are content with our own understanding of things, and convinced that is enough. The Bible also says that this determination to do our own thing is what keeps us blind and deaf to the reality of God. Because we don’t want to know, we can’t understand.

To make matters worse, in our blindness we make up our own version of God, our own version of spirituality, our own version of religion. No wonder there are so many “faiths.”

God is willing to reveal Himself to anyone. We need to be willing to know and understand Him as He reveals Himself. Those who are content with their own understanding has no idea what they are missing!