August 8, 2000
A friend of mine related a touching moment after his grown daughter had left home. She came back to tell him how insecure she felt, then cried on his shoulder. He remarked, “Even after they leave home, you never stop being a parent.”
Some human needs seem to be universal. Who doesn’t want to be significant and needed? Who doesn’t want a sense of security?
Gender differences is a controversial and blurry area but the issue of significance seems more a priority for men while security seems to be a stronger need in the hearts of women.
Some think that men and women are alike from birth and conditioned to behave differently as they grow up. Traditionally, girls were given dolls and boys played with trucks; girls were allowed emotions and boys told not to cry. Others are less concerned with the origin of those differences and more determined to eliminate them. They say men ought to stay at home with the children; women can provide the primary income. Others propose that two men or two women can be the “parents” and eliminate from a couple relationship the other gender entirely.
The Bible account sheds light on these theories. The creation story starts with God noticing that “it is not good for the man to be alone.” He created woman as a suitable mate for him. He said, “a man will leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” God intended a united couple, one man and one woman.
But even with that in place, the differences mess up unity. For one thing, both want to be the boss. (Be honest; you know it’s true!) This is enough conflict in itself, never mind that men and women have different ideas how to do things and often misunderstand each other.
The differences were not supposed to cause problems. God knew men needed a mate suitable for them, to help them where they need help. For instance, women nurture more easily; for many it is second nature. Many men are less interested in relationships and more concerned with their work and earning a living.
However, instead of letting these differences cause conflict, God wanted gender interdependence. In my friends situation, the daughter’s need for security and the father’s need for significance came together. They illustrate, at least for me, that gender differences do not mean that we have to fight over who is the best or who is the most powerful but that we can be what the other person needs.
The Bible says God created us both in His likeness. Even though we are male or female, we are like God by creation. That likeness has been marred by our rebellion against Him, yet God has offered redemption. He promises that those who come to Him for salvation from sin will receive a new nature.
In fact, God has offered us eternal life and, “This life is in His Son. He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life.”
With the life of Christ we have the beginning of that restored image and getting along with the opposite gender is made easier. The complexities do not disappear nor the challenges of figuring out the differences, yet the Spirit of Christ produces a unity that is otherwise impossible. This unity is no based on being exactly the same but having the same desires and goals: to live in Christian harmony and together reflect the image of our Creator.
Showing posts with label gender differences. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gender differences. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 13, 2017
Wednesday, April 20, 2016
Ending the gender war .................. Parables 421
May 17, 1994
Dr. Donald Joy says women have minds like computers. A computer searches through bits of data scattered all over its hard drive then brings together all related information. Dr. Joy says this is an excellent parallel to the way a woman’s intuitive reasoning works.
He also says men think in a logical, line-by-line order. While this type of reasoning can be slower, there is greater opportunity to spot flaws in the process. However, men often become frustrated when women solve problems in what seems a random fashion, especially when correct answers appear without any explanation of their origin.
Furthermore, some research indicates boys are generally better in mathematics, while girls excel in language arts. Men are supposedly more aggressive and women more emotional. Research in this area also says the left side of the brain controls logic, analytical ability. Because of some changes in the brain caused by male hormones, boys are born with a tendency to use that side more than the right.
In contrast, women are generally inclined to being right-brained. This side controls feelings, imagination, speech, relational faculties, etc. Since girls do not experience the same hormonal changes, they are more adept at simultaneously gathering data from both brain hemispheres. While not everyone agrees with Dr. Joy’s simplified explanation, it certainly describes some commonly observed differences between men and women.
If it is true that men and women think differently, then comparing intellectual skills and mental abilities is unfair. In the battle of the sexes, each tries to make the other feel inferior, but both miss the point of being different.
According to Genesis, God made the man first and gave him a job to do; he had to name all the animals. Without a modern zoologist’s classification system of families, orders, and species, giving names to thousands of variations was a gigantic challenge.
Even though Adam was able to do the job, God observed that “it is not good for the man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). Then God added, “I will make a helper suitable for him.” Various versions say “a helper corresponding to him” or “a companion for him, a helper suited to his needs.”
Some might think the term “helper” is demeaning to women, describing them as second-class citizens. Not true. This word is used elsewhere ONLY to describe God Himself. He is the “helper” of His people. If being a helper makes women slaves, then God would also be understood as subservient, but He is not. Further, the Bible never speaks in a demeaning manner about anyone who helps others.
When God created Eve, Adam was delighted. He was no longer alone; he had a companion to help him. Most important, God designed her so she would perfectly complement the way God designed him. Each had their own strengths. Together they were a terrific team.
Unfortunately, sin entered the picture. Eve blamed the snake, Adam blamed Eve, and God put them all out of paradise. The mess has multiplied ever since, which is no surprise. God said it would. He told both of them to expect hard work and difficulties, but He also said because of sin the man and woman would fight each other. The woman would “desire the man” which if carefully compared to Genesis 4:7, says she will want to rule him. He then adds, “but he will rule over her.”
The good news is that the battle between the sexes does not have to continue. Those who find victory over sin through faith in Christ experience a reversal of this curse—instead of competition and fighting, they are given the ability to appreciate the difference and begin to truly complement one another.
Dr. Donald Joy says women have minds like computers. A computer searches through bits of data scattered all over its hard drive then brings together all related information. Dr. Joy says this is an excellent parallel to the way a woman’s intuitive reasoning works.
He also says men think in a logical, line-by-line order. While this type of reasoning can be slower, there is greater opportunity to spot flaws in the process. However, men often become frustrated when women solve problems in what seems a random fashion, especially when correct answers appear without any explanation of their origin.
Furthermore, some research indicates boys are generally better in mathematics, while girls excel in language arts. Men are supposedly more aggressive and women more emotional. Research in this area also says the left side of the brain controls logic, analytical ability. Because of some changes in the brain caused by male hormones, boys are born with a tendency to use that side more than the right.
In contrast, women are generally inclined to being right-brained. This side controls feelings, imagination, speech, relational faculties, etc. Since girls do not experience the same hormonal changes, they are more adept at simultaneously gathering data from both brain hemispheres. While not everyone agrees with Dr. Joy’s simplified explanation, it certainly describes some commonly observed differences between men and women.
If it is true that men and women think differently, then comparing intellectual skills and mental abilities is unfair. In the battle of the sexes, each tries to make the other feel inferior, but both miss the point of being different.
According to Genesis, God made the man first and gave him a job to do; he had to name all the animals. Without a modern zoologist’s classification system of families, orders, and species, giving names to thousands of variations was a gigantic challenge.
Even though Adam was able to do the job, God observed that “it is not good for the man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). Then God added, “I will make a helper suitable for him.” Various versions say “a helper corresponding to him” or “a companion for him, a helper suited to his needs.”
Some might think the term “helper” is demeaning to women, describing them as second-class citizens. Not true. This word is used elsewhere ONLY to describe God Himself. He is the “helper” of His people. If being a helper makes women slaves, then God would also be understood as subservient, but He is not. Further, the Bible never speaks in a demeaning manner about anyone who helps others.
When God created Eve, Adam was delighted. He was no longer alone; he had a companion to help him. Most important, God designed her so she would perfectly complement the way God designed him. Each had their own strengths. Together they were a terrific team.
Unfortunately, sin entered the picture. Eve blamed the snake, Adam blamed Eve, and God put them all out of paradise. The mess has multiplied ever since, which is no surprise. God said it would. He told both of them to expect hard work and difficulties, but He also said because of sin the man and woman would fight each other. The woman would “desire the man” which if carefully compared to Genesis 4:7, says she will want to rule him. He then adds, “but he will rule over her.”
The good news is that the battle between the sexes does not have to continue. Those who find victory over sin through faith in Christ experience a reversal of this curse—instead of competition and fighting, they are given the ability to appreciate the difference and begin to truly complement one another.
Monday, June 29, 2015
Gender differences and faith .............. Parables 293
November 12, 1991
University of Pennsylvania researchers issued a news release saying they think men’s brains deteriorate two to three times faster than women’s. This supposedly occurs in the left side of the brain, the location of verbal abilities. They called this deterioration atrophy, the condition that happens to anything unused, such as a motionless broken leg bound in a cast.
Another study gives an more detailed explanation of this. Apparently very early after life begins in boy babies, the male hormone testosterone floods the left side of the brain and shrinks it. At the same time, it damages connective fibers between the two sides of the brain. Because of that, men tend to think laterally – and use one side of their brain at a time while women generally think bilaterally – and use both sides at the same time.
Furthermore, these studies reveal the left side of the brain is used for rational, objective, linear thought patterns whereas the right side registers emotions, subjective thoughts and random thought patterns. For men, this means an ability to think logically without interference from emotions, which is their strength. For women, both sides work at the same time (even though the subjective, emotional side often dominates) and this too is a strength. It is important to realize being different does not imply one is better.
Men are usually quieter and sometimes accused of burying their emotions or not expressing them. My husband gives this reason: it is difficult for a man to think both emotionally and rationally at the same time. (Remember, those damaged connecting fibers?) Since many men know their ability to reason and be logical is their strength, they will deny what seems to them a weakness (emotions) and use the left side of their brain most of the time.
It is not that men cannot feel emotions or be subjective; their hormone did not destroy every connection. Besides, emotions are too powerful to suppress completely and can even overwhelm logic. For instance, men may experience outbursts of anger, uncontrolled lust or jealousy, even though his logic says these things should not be happening.
That is not to say women have no trouble with emotional outbursts that go against logic. Both genders are able to bottle up emotions. Both are able to open up that side of themselves and either blow up or deal with feelings logically. However, emotions are more difficult for men to acknowledge.
Sometimes it would be easier if everyone used their brains the same way. We wouldn’t have so much trouble figuring one another out, or get so frustrated when we don’t see things the same way. But Bob and I realize if we both thought the same, one of us would be unnecessary!
We have found one area of total equality though. It is in the spiritual realm. The Bible says men and women have equal access to God. “There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28).
The Jews and Greeks had their differences, but faith in Jesus made them one before the throne of God. Slaves didn’t enjoy the same status as those who were not slaves, but faith in Christ made their status before God the same. So it is with men and women; both are equally able to approach God through Christ.
My husband and I don’t think the same whether or not we have the same connective tissue or the same size brain. But we appreciate our distinctions as we grow deeper in experiencing the reality of being equal before God. He helps us to realizing our full potential by setting us free from any intimidation, conflict or competition that comes from being male or female.
University of Pennsylvania researchers issued a news release saying they think men’s brains deteriorate two to three times faster than women’s. This supposedly occurs in the left side of the brain, the location of verbal abilities. They called this deterioration atrophy, the condition that happens to anything unused, such as a motionless broken leg bound in a cast.
Another study gives an more detailed explanation of this. Apparently very early after life begins in boy babies, the male hormone testosterone floods the left side of the brain and shrinks it. At the same time, it damages connective fibers between the two sides of the brain. Because of that, men tend to think laterally – and use one side of their brain at a time while women generally think bilaterally – and use both sides at the same time.
Furthermore, these studies reveal the left side of the brain is used for rational, objective, linear thought patterns whereas the right side registers emotions, subjective thoughts and random thought patterns. For men, this means an ability to think logically without interference from emotions, which is their strength. For women, both sides work at the same time (even though the subjective, emotional side often dominates) and this too is a strength. It is important to realize being different does not imply one is better.
Men are usually quieter and sometimes accused of burying their emotions or not expressing them. My husband gives this reason: it is difficult for a man to think both emotionally and rationally at the same time. (Remember, those damaged connecting fibers?) Since many men know their ability to reason and be logical is their strength, they will deny what seems to them a weakness (emotions) and use the left side of their brain most of the time.
It is not that men cannot feel emotions or be subjective; their hormone did not destroy every connection. Besides, emotions are too powerful to suppress completely and can even overwhelm logic. For instance, men may experience outbursts of anger, uncontrolled lust or jealousy, even though his logic says these things should not be happening.
That is not to say women have no trouble with emotional outbursts that go against logic. Both genders are able to bottle up emotions. Both are able to open up that side of themselves and either blow up or deal with feelings logically. However, emotions are more difficult for men to acknowledge.
Sometimes it would be easier if everyone used their brains the same way. We wouldn’t have so much trouble figuring one another out, or get so frustrated when we don’t see things the same way. But Bob and I realize if we both thought the same, one of us would be unnecessary!
We have found one area of total equality though. It is in the spiritual realm. The Bible says men and women have equal access to God. “There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28).
The Jews and Greeks had their differences, but faith in Jesus made them one before the throne of God. Slaves didn’t enjoy the same status as those who were not slaves, but faith in Christ made their status before God the same. So it is with men and women; both are equally able to approach God through Christ.
My husband and I don’t think the same whether or not we have the same connective tissue or the same size brain. But we appreciate our distinctions as we grow deeper in experiencing the reality of being equal before God. He helps us to realizing our full potential by setting us free from any intimidation, conflict or competition that comes from being male or female.
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