Who takes the blame? .......... Parables 639

May 11, 1999

After two shootings in as many weeks, most of us are in shock and grieving, not entirely objective. Few actually knew these children or the families that are involved. Most were not there and glad of it, yet everyone has an opinion about who to blame, about whose fault it was.

Parents are almost always first to take the flack. They are either too strict, or too lenient, or not there, or not in touch with their kids, or the child was beaten or deprived. Yet how can we explain a child murderer if that child’s parents were loving, concerned and did their best? As John Kindred’s column (April 27) pointed out, children from good homes sometimes turn out bad.

Also consider God, the perfect parent. He provided an ideal environment (including work and responsibility) for His children, yet Adam and Eve decided to disobey Him. Their choice adversely affected the entire human race yet no one blames God for their failure.

What about education? Were the children with the guns taught how to manage their lives? Their anger? Didn’t these rebellious teens know the harm they could do, the lives they could ruin? Whether they knew or not, or were taught or not, education can hardly be blamed. Statistics show that the nations with the highest standards of education also have the highest crime rates. Also, any parent knows you can teach it but that does not mean they learn it.

Are these shootings the government’s fault? Legislators try. They bring in gun controls, beef up the Young Offenders Act, but it doesn’t seem to work. In fact, most researchers say that gun control or lack of it, does not affect the incidents of violence. I suppose if an angry person with murder in mind cannot obtain a gun, he or she could use a baseball bat or a big rock.

A radio talk show highlighted the responsibility of the media and pointed fingers. They cited statistics about rising crime rates in countries that feature violence in their movies, TV shows and other media. Certainly what we see and hear affects us, otherwise advertisers would not spend billions of dollars for time and space to promote their products. Also, media moguls should be held responsible for any garbage they produce, but, are they responsible for what we do with their garbage? That is like blaming Madison Avenue every time we make a poor purchase.

Certainly violence in the media sells a “product” but only to those who are in the mood to buy it. We do not buy every item we see on television. We do not go to war simply because we see it on film or in a news clip. After seeing and hearing it all, we are still free to make choices.

When we make decisions, no one can coerce or influence us without our consent. How we choose is based on our wants, likes, dislikes, knowledge, perception, the strength of the hype, and a host of other things, nevertheless, we are still free to choose. God granted us that freedom, His laws are designed around it, and He will not violate it Himself. He has the power to make us do what He wants but instead says, “Choose this day whom you will serve . . .”

Has it occurred to anyone that the two boys in Littleton and the other in Taber shot other children because they choose to? Years ago, they were babies with parents who made decisions for them, but as they grew, they began to decide for themselves. They picked what shirts to wear, what color they wanted their rooms, what subjects to take in school. They were bright, intelligent young people, who one day decided to do an evil thing.

Too many people will not accept responsibility for their own choices and their own outbursts. Just think how often people say, “You make me so mad” as if they had no choice. As a result, when someone does anything wrong, they blame everyone else but the person who did it.

God clearly says that those who choose to disobey Him will “eat the fruit of their ways.” Ironically, by choosing that fruit, those three boys (like Adam and Eve before them) ruined many lives too. My deepest sympathy to those who mourn in Colorado and Alberta.